Self Titled

Beating the Winterland Blues

2012-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

I was perusing through my Natural Health Magazine that I get for free somehow because of my wonderful (sometimes) brother who is always getting stuff for free... and came across an interesting little article called "win over winter" and they had some little tips for keeping the wintertime blues at bay. The article said they were tips from Scandinavian culture. Norman E. Rosenthal, M.D. ways that "prevention is better than any cure", and I SO agree! Eating a healthy diet full of nutrients is better than popping a vitamin pill.

1. Go for a morning walk - I know it's cold, but even a few minutes of AM mild aerobic activity and sunlight can brighten your mood for the whole day and keep you healthy and full of Vitamin D3.
I have read that if there is any pill that you should take, Vitamin D3 is one of them. Vitamin D3 is not the same vitamin D that you get out of milk or in a Calcium pill. It's what you get from sunlight. I've read that Doctors say 1000 iu's is a safe dosage for everyone, but some people need more; you doctor can tell you if you need more.
click to read more on algaecal.com: a whole food source powered by marine algae.

click here to take you to Amazon.com to buy Vitamin D3

2. "During the winter, Swedish cafes set out colorful blankets and pillows to help customers feel at home." (Natural Health mag). It is a coping technique for wintertime called mysig; which basically means cozy.

Here are some pictures that look mysig to me..

I would love to cuddle up in this chair with a nice book and a cup o joe.

15house cozy chair

To have your own mysig cafe you could set up your living room with a bunch of colorful pillows and candles. Invite some friends over for a mysig date. Play games or watch movies and wrap up in cozy colorful blankets.

....

Here's an interesting video on a Swedish Light Cafe...

click to go to Amazon.com

3. Be a waterbaby - get a quick blast of hot to cold. Like we used to do as kids, get in the hot tub and then jump out and roll around in the snow and jump back in. I guess there was something to all that, we just didn't know! You can get the same thing by alternating hot and cold water in your shower. (Be careful if you're pregnant or have a heart condition!)

4. Use Candles. They create a warm and welcoming environment. Some Sweeds even eat breakfast by candlelight. Sounds welcoming.

..

and of course...

Eat More Kale! - this didn't come from this particular article about winter blues... I just think it's great advice.

out for a stroll

2012-01-25T10:31:00.000-08:00

There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. ~Ruth Stout~

I found these in my grandpa's garage and went for a little walk on the day of our first big snow in the Bitterroot Valley - Montana. It was a lot of fun, my first time snowshoeing... but I was so sore when I got home!

Every mile is two in winter. ~George Herbert~

Pretty trees I found along my walk

More cool trees covered in snow.

Winter came down to our home one night
Quietly pirouetting in on silvery-toed slippers of snow,
And we, we were children once again.

~Bill Morgan, Jr.

Brew me a cup for a winter's night.
For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I'll toast our bright eyes,
my sweetheart fair.

~Minna Thomas Antrim

Cruel and cold is the judgment of man, Cruel as winter, and cold as the snow; But by-and-by will the deed and the plan Be judged by the motive that lieth below.

Lewis J. Bates

Kale Madness

2012-01-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

Kale is a baddass vegetable! It is known as the Queen of Greens & the "healthiest vegetable on the planet". According to webmd: "One cup of kale contains 36 calories, 5 grams of fiber, and 15% of the daily requirement of calcium and vitamin B6 (pyridoxine), 40% of magnesium, 180% of vitamin A, 200% of vitamin C, and 1,020% of vitamin K. It is also a good source of minerals copper, potassium, iron, manganese, and phosphorus."

My Mother introduced me to Kale Smoothies

several leaves of fresh kale
1 1/2 banana (frozen works really well because it's like banana ice)
1 1/2 cup apple juice or more
cloves and allspice for an extra kick of flavor

They really just taste like banana and don't have a very strong kale taste. Banana covers up everything. You could even add an apple in there if you liked. This is a fabulous breakfast smoothie. Just what you need for that extra kick of energy in the AM.

Here's a guy that makes tshirts about kale - EatMoreKale.com. He prints his shirts one at a time so you know it's been individually made.

KALE CHIPS

tear/chop up your kale

put it in a big bowl and toss with olive oil, paprika, garlic salt,

add chili powder if you like it spicy

I like to also toss up some minced garlic as well

lay it out flat on a pan and toast it on 350 for 10 minutes

You can leave them in a little longer if you like them extra crispy.

Just take one out and test it.

I like to sprinkle mine with lemon or lime juice. It just adds an extra somethin'-somethin'.

You could even sprinkle some Parmesan cheese on there if you wanted. I'll bet that would be fabulous.

Well I hope you enjoyed this post. It's been fun!

Remember...

EAT MORE KALE!

Welcome 2012

2012-01-03T12:04:00.000-08:00

It's my first post of two-thousand-and-twelve!

I have nothing to add right now, but if you'd like, please check out my Pinterest Page. There's always new and exciting stuff on Pinterest!

Merry Christmas! thoughts and thanks

2011-12-25T23:16:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I just finished a long day of work and am feeling a bit sentimental and it's been a few weeks so I thought I'd get on here and write a few words.

I want to talk about some things that I'm Thankful for.

Family. I have a wonderful family. I really enjoy the time that is spent with them. All families have their own special quirks. One of my family's quirks is that we are often very quiet and first glance... but just like my own personality, once you get behind the curtain you find that we're all pretty rowdy and some of us have big mouths :) I won't say who ... It seems to me that every member of my family is on the whole very kind and loving. I've been surrounded by this my whole life and it's been a big influence on my life; the loving nature of my family.

I'm Thankful for the aunt Julie and my grandma Gladys. Both have passed away. How is it that we often seem to lose the best of us so early? Both were incredible strong women and I am better for having them in my life, let alone my family. They were such great examples for what a life of giving should look like. I hope I can be more like them. They are dearly missed.

I am grateful for my job. I can finally say that. I can finally settle down and enjoy my work; knowing that I don't have plans for leaving in a year or so. That's been my life for the past 4-5 years... take the job but know you're leaving. Now I plan to stay. Sure I may not stay here forever, but it also might be forever! I work at a Youth Home and believe in the work there. I enjoy it immensely. The kids are a lot of fun; at times very tiring and mentally exhausting, but enjoyable. In the end they are all just kids who are having troubles at home. Some of the don't have homes or a family. I know that in the overall scheme of their lives I am not making a difference, but if I can give them some enjoyable days and help teach some lessons then I will be happy. I just want to spread some love...

I am grateful for good friends and coworkers. I have a pretty interesting array of coworkers. I have a few jobs; both of which employ relief staff so there's quite a large pool of people. It's been pretty neat getting to know everyone over the past year. I am lucky to work with awesome people; all of whom want to help make lives better. As for my friends... I don't see enough of them as I would like. It's hard this time in our lives. We're all so busy and I live an hour from Missoula where several of them live; so it's hard to get together for a coffee or lunch or something. It really only happens when I drive to zootown... But it's still nice to have good friends that make an effort :)

Lastly listed but certainly not least is my relationship with Jesus and my church. He has been big in my life lately and I know that He has helped me with some pretty big issues. I was baptized November 26, 2011. My church family has been very special. They've taken me in and helped me feel welcome. Of course they know my whole family and that helps, but they are welcoming me as an individual and not as a Johnson. I look forward to being more involved and helping out a lot more this next year. We have a new pastor and I just think he's the bee's knees. Him and his family are pretty great. He likes to talk about all the things that I like to talk about and learn about when it comes to God and religion. It's gonna be a good year.

Thanks for reading & Merry Christmas!

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.

Matthew 18:20

NPR's Anatomy of a Tantrum

2011-12-09T13:57:00.000-08:00

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
Friedrich Nietzsche

This is interesting.

It seems that people have said this before... that when a child is having a tantrum the best thing to do is to leave them alone. But now scientists have been researching the sounds a child makes when they're having a tantrum. They say that all tantrums follow the same pattern and caution parents against falling into the "anger trap". This includes asking questions during a tantrum; it prolongs it and therefore you have to deal with the tantrum longer.

NPR has a video, audio and written version of this story. If you are curious or have young children I highly suggest checking it out.

I go to school the youth to learn the future.
Robert Frost

I've also been watching a PESI training on dealing with tantrums and out of control behaviors in youth by Dr. Nancy S. Buck. It's very interesting. She says that the best part of the training is the beginning and I have to agree because that first part is the part that's stuck with me the most. She refers to Bruce Lipton's description of a cell and that a cell can either be open to change, or closed in protection. It's the same with a child....

A YOUTH CAN EITHER BE OPEN TO CHANGE OR CLOSED IN PROTECTION.

While googling Dr. Buck I came across a few of her websites: Peaceful Parenting ... and here's another!
Again, if you're a parent or work with youth I suggest checking her out.

_____________________________________________

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. ( 1 Timothy 4:12 )

A Healthy Post

2011-11-11T09:01:00.000-08:00

The first wealth is health.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Smart guy that Ralph. I seem to quote him a lot.

I'm perusing through my latest Natural Health magazine and you know what I like to do when I read interesting stuff. I get on blogspot and talk about it.

I didn't drink enough water yesterday. In fact, I didn't drink ANY water yesterday. Shame shame on me. I drank part of a fountain soda, ate crap and also had a caramel latte with soy... at least I had soy. Oh, and a beer. By 8:00 I had a headache. I'm actually surprised I didn't have one earlier but the coffee probably helped with that. .. When I was in college I did a 'research' project on drinking water. It wasn't the most scientific study ever done by a student but it was interesting. It was about how you feel when you drink water, and if you tried to drink more water throughout the day did you end up wanting more and feeling better about yourself for the accomplishement. I believe that this is true. I can't remember when my findings were though. I know that when I drink water I don't get headaches and I also feel better. That's reason enough for me.

Here's an interesting product, since we're talking about water... Vapur foldable reusable water bottles. How friggin' cool is that!? Only $10 a pop. Fold them up in your purse after drinking all your water. Easy to carry around. However, don't fill it with bottled water. Bottled water is usually just tap water and can still be distributed even if it doesn't even meet the municipal tapwater standards!!! and only 1 in 5 plastic water bottles are recycled.

Moving on...

The Natural Health magazine sometimes prints little facts here and there throughout... I'm not sure sometimes where they get their information for some of their little blurbs but here's an interesting one... physical and social warmth are interchangeable to some degree... so you could take a bath or drink a hot drink or sip soup to dispel feelings of isolation and exclusion. Interesting!

Winter is close at hand and you know that that means... vitamin D deficiency! So pop those D3 pills and eat your shitake mushrooms. And read about the 10 foods highest in Vitamin D!

Ok I'm gonna be annoying and talk about vegetarians and cancer. I know, I know. There is a lot of controversy about cancer; a lot of studies that people say don't prove anything. Regardless, I believe that eating less meat, more veggies and getting more exercise will decrease our risk of developing cancer. Sure, healthy people get cancer too... that's not the point. I don't understand why people put so much effort into disagreeing and disproving studies when you could just try to be more healthy. Where's the harm in that?

And no, drinking a V8 Fusion does NOT count as eating your veggies. Do you know how much sugar is in that? Just eat some darn broccoli for goodness sakes!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine." Proverbs 17:22

Well people, I hope I wasn't too incredibly annoying with my health post. I can do better and so can you. Let's make this world a healthier place. And feed your kids some spinach for dinner.

for the love of art

2011-11-10T11:25:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of Art Star Philly? I found them because a friend introduced me to Kurt Halsey, whose artwork I love. I have a few of his things, including a cute little firefly necklace. What I love about Art Star is finding new artists and styles. I enjoy finding oddball artwork that you wouldn't usually find in your everyday store or art gallery. It's like my love of music and 'discovering' musicians who aren't well known. (Tony Lucca for example... I've mentioned him before.)

Tony Lucca - Dirty Work by Rock Ridge Music

So without further adieu I will introduce a few artists that I've got my eye on...

CrystalBrilliance - is actually an acquaintance of mine. She makes her own jewelry and it's pretty interesting and unique stuff. She's got some new stuff coming out soon. It's nice to see your friends following their dreams and doing what they love.

Overdue Industries - repurposes books and gives them a new life as journals and planners, ect.. Everything is made by hand. You can also send in your own book for them to repurpose for you. Check out their About section to find out more. It's a pretty interesting concept.

James Singlewald Photography - James lives in Baltimore Maryland and photographs the downtown area. It was pretty interesting to stumble across him because I used to live in Maryland and I went to Baltimore fairly regularly and saw some of these places that he photographed. His goal is to improve the area that has fallen apart.

Diamond Tooth Taxidermy - Here's an interesting idea! I can't say that this is really my style but it's a fascinating idea. If I were a taxidermist I would totally go this route. They make fancy hats out of animals... chicken feet and feathers and what not... The feather-only ones are actually quite pretty.. I'm not so sure about the chicken feet...

Figs & Ginger - Earth Friendly and recycled material jewelry. I have a pair of their earrings; they are excellent quality and very cute. Their stuff is made individually so their all vary slightly.

Bright Lights Little City - This might be my favorite. Glow in the dark lamp shade made out of those little party umbrellas that you put in your drink. Adorable and affordable.

Recycle My Dress - Here's a genius idea! Recycle that dress you wore once! I love it!

Here's a list of Art Star Philly's vendors for 2011. I couldn't list them all and haven't even looked at them all. But if you like oddball art check them out and see what you think.

Ever heard of Pinterest? My friend Nicole introduced me to it and it's so addicting! Here's my page. I've found so many amazing and creative ideas on it. Check it out. I recommend!

I will end this post with a quote about peace :)

He that would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows or all he sees. - Benjamin Franklin

19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult

2011-10-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

I've been basically on my preverbial deathbed for the past week. Thank goodness for audiobooks. I just finished 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult yesterday. I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's the 2nd book that I've read of hers; the other was My Sister's Keeper which was also pretty good. I was skeptical of reading another book by Picoult because I've heard that she follows a pattern in writing all her books and I typically don't enjoy reading that kind of writing over and over. She likes to throw a twist in at the end that you wouldn't expect. 19 Minutes was no exception. I didn't think the twist was very believable but it was interesting and doesn't make me dislike the book as a whole.

Picoult writes about controversial subjects which I really admire and enjoy. I like to read difficult topics and she hasn't let me down thus far. 19 Minutes is about a high school shooting, popularity and bullying. I know, it sounds very dire and depressing but it was done nicely and with poise.

There's one part in the book that is quite chilling. Most school shooters share typical characteristics with most typical teenagers. She says "these kids who resort to violence are not all that different from the one living upstairs in your own house". YIKES!

I also thought this was very sad - In an interview about Picoult's reasearch on the book she stated "psychologically, a single act of childhood bullying is as scarring emotionally as a single act of sexual abuse". That's pretty scary!

The one thing I didn't like, besides the weird twist, was the name of the mother/judge; Alex Cormier. It seems like a very 'made-up' name to me. But oh well. We can't all be perfect. There was a point in the book (where Alex struggles with deciding to take the court case for the shooting at her daughter's high school or to recuse herself) that bothered me. I don't think any resonable judge would think that they could be impartial to a case where their child was injured. But again, didn't stop me from reading.

I suggest reading the interview with the author on her website.

- and for funsies, here's a trailer to the book -

LAUGH. It's good for you.

2011-10-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

It's that time again! Time to share some funnies!

is this guy for real!?! Gotta love Craigslist.

http://static.happyplace.com/assets/images/2011/10/4ea9ae653f54b.gif

Ok this isn't a funny but it's cool and I thought I should share. My friend hooked me up and now i'm gonna hook you up... Pinterest.com. Apparently everyone's doing it. You make your own pin boards and 'pin' stuff too it from websites, blogs, ect... There are a lot of recipes and DIY things. I recommend checking it out. Here's the direct link to mine.

...on to more laughs...

Happy Halloween from HappyPlace.com! - awful pumpkin carvings

Here's a fun rap song by kids for Halloween - gettin' sugar-high

the DearGirlsAboveMe.com girls are at it again!

Oh I do love CatalogLiving.com

Unsure of how much the new horse lamp would drink over the course of a day, Gary and Elaine set out an extra water bowl when they left for work.
http://catalogliving.net/post/11063478443/lead-a-horse-to-water

I wish I could post this picture but it won't let me... from someecards... I guess you'll have to click the link...

That's all folks!

Nothing Is Ever Wasted

2011-09-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

...except me.... right now....

Every once in awhile something happens in your life that makes a big impact.
I'm going to tell you a little story. I know that this has happened to others but it's never happened to someone I knew or to myself. When I really stop to think about it it's not so bad and it's just a part of this era. But it felt like crap.

This is a story about my adventures in dating.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, and as much as I don't want to say it 'out loud', I fear I must. If I say it then I don't ever have to worry about it being embarrassing again. Besides, it made a big impact on me and it's something that I feel I need to write about and share with "the masses"... all 5 of you. ... I've been dating online. Yes. There, I said it! It's out and I can never take it back. Oh well. Life goes on. Now I can add "dating" to my labels. What fun. Now you can make as much fun of me as you like.

No you cannot read my profile.

I've been warned against this by many people. "Why online? Why can't you just meet people?" ... Well first of all, have you met me? I'm apparently not that approachable. Why is that? And secondly... I live in Hamilton for goodness sakes. I've met one decent single guy. And he's 50. The rest of them are either in high school or they're already in a relationship or just plain not interested in fabulous me. But enough whining.

Online dating is not that abnormal these days. Although I don't know if the people doing it can be considered normal. I know I can't. But I digress.... again... I know a wonderful couple that met online and they are married and perfect for each other. It's happened to other people too. So far that has not been my experience.

Onto my story. I started talking to this guy from Virginia who was moving to Montana. He told me one day, I'm on my way. He didn't have any specific plan other than he had a business idea that he wanted to pursue. I had the most interesting and fabulous conversations of my life with him. I was intrigued. He came to Hamilton and decided to rent a room month-to-month from a woman's home. So we went out, we talked, etc. etc. I was keeping my guard up but slowly letting it down day by day. I finally admitted to myself that I did in-fact like him quite a bit. So we had this conversation.. he had left Virginia with a few legal issues pending regarding his kids. He decided that if he were to have any sort of future with me he needed to handle his legal issues. I was okay with this. Bummed that he had to go back for an undetermined length of time, but excited that I'd met someone that I had such good conversation with.

A few days after he left I got an email from a woman who claimed to be his landlord's friend. She tells me he's not who he says he is and that I should stay away. So of course I call him and say wtf yo! What gives!? I will spare you the long drawn out conversation that followed but basically he was still technically married; awaiting divorce and child custody all to be done at the same time... but had been separated for over a year. But, is also ENGAGED and get this... she's pregnant. Yep. And living with him. What? So I asked him how is he talking with me this whole time when she's living with him and he tells me that she's downstairs and would I like to talk to her? Because at this point he's still telling me that he wants to be with me after he gets this whole thing sorted out with her. He had told her about me.

Yes. That is correct.

So I tell him "yes! get her up here and let's have it out!" So he went and got her and we had a little chat. Man, talk about an interesting conversation. Basically this guy had been lying to everyone and wanted to leave this girl and his unborn child to be with me. As if after all this I would want to be with him. She said "my concern is this, are you guys going to continue talking while we're trying to sort this out?" He replied that he wanted to and I said "well I think that would be a little weird" and she said "Thank You!!!" Rightly so. Weird weird weird. I was not irate or rude but mostly in shock that the whole conversation was taking place and he was telling this girl that he wanted to be with me right in front of her. She seemed like a very nice woman and was very kind to me. I feel bad for her.

A few days later I got an email from him letting me know that he'd decided to do the right thing by her and stay with her and that we would no longer be communicating. Go figure. I hope that everything works out for them.

And that is my story.

At this point I'm over it but at the time it really hurt. I learned a lot, and as my mother says "nothing is ever wasted". So while I could have done without this whole experience, it was nice to meet someone that gave me hope that there are eloquent people out there. Sure he turned out to be a sore loser, but that is beside the point. I continue to learn things about life, love and dating. And also about myself.

I apologize if this thing was long-winded and confusing. I sortof used it as a journal type entry to share with the world and I hope it was at least entertaining for you!

Best of luck to us all!

Reclaiming the Slut?

2011-09-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

I caught a glimpse of The Doctors the other day and they were arguing about the Slut Walks that have been going on. These walks stem from a comment made by a police officer who said women should stop dressing like sluts if they don't want to be raped. I'm paraphrasing here. That statement very seriously upsets me. This statement comes from a police officer who has clearly not been educated on the topic of rape. The fact that he has not been educated upsets me and the many reactions that this comment stirs up make my blood boil. People on both sides of the fence are ignoring the real problem here.

This statement is taken from msnbc's article on the subject - "It was taking the blame off the rapist and on the victim," said Nicole Sullivan, 21, a student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston and an organizer of the SlutWalk planned Saturday in that city. "So we are using these efforts to reclaim the word 'slut.'" Ok I understand that women should be able to dress the way that they want without fear of being raped. But this is completely missing the point.

I will explain way.

Rape is not about sex. When a person rapes, its to exert control, to dominate the victim. You can find this fact in many different places if you just look it up. That is why men are raped by heterosexual men. It is not about sex. So the way a woman is dressed does not say to a man, "hey, look at that woman showing cleavage. I think I'll rape her because I'm so sexually aroused right now". Sure, there are guys who carry around roofies and slip them into a girl's drink in order to rape her. But that happens to a lot of women who are not dressed provocatively. And still, even in that case, it's about power.

Certain people get the idea that the woman should take responsibility for being raped.

In the Rape in America study, 80% of the girls and women who were raped were victimized by someone they knew.

Rape in America: A Report to the Nation, National Victim Center, 1992

And then you have these women coming out in rage at these discussions about victims being to blame, and they say that they want to reclaim the word Slut. And I am baffled.

slut (slt)

a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.

b. A woman prostitute.

2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

Why on earth would you want to want to be associated with this word. Sure, no one deserves to be raped. Not even a slut. But no way am I going to walk around in my underwear with a sign saying "it's my hot body I do what I want". You're not doing yourself any favors ladies.

*sigh*

Okay that's my rant. I get frustrated when people can't come together on common ground for a common goal. This whole thing does nothing for victims of rape.

Most commonly, rape is a crime of opportunity; the victim is chosen not because of her looks or behavior, but because she is there.

Helen Benedict, Virgin or Vamp, 1992

Click here for a helpful website for victims of rape.

giant tetris

2011-09-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you come across things that make your mind spin. At least I do. Sometimes people do things that amaze me. Great works of art for instance. The pyramids... And then some people build castles by themselves in the dead of night and then move them to a different location after they've completed it....

This is a picture of Coral Castle after it was moved. Remember, all of this was in a different location before and moved here.

I was recently introduced to Ed Leedskalnin. He's an interesting fellow who built a castle/rock garden in Florida all by himself, cutting coral bedrock and 'lifting' it into position. No one really knows how he did it because he worked in secret and did not allow others to watch him work. He built his castle for his sweetheart who jilted him at the alter; Agnes, his "Sweet16". According to this website, Billy Idol wrote his song Sweet 16 about this guy. Ok so maybe he was a little off... but he built a castle.

Below are a few videos on Youtube. They're a little old, so don't mind the music... and the acting.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Here's another video about old Ed. There was one that lightly suggested aliens. I opted out of sharing that one here. ... Ed stated that he knew the secrets of the Pyramids, and if you look at some of the structures there are some that point to the pyramids as well as Stonehenge; one that is taller than the stonehenge rocks.

It's amazing that this is the first I'm hearing of this guy. Yep, that's him right there in the black suit. He's not much taller than myself, 5 feet. ... I wish I knew more about this amazing little guy. I suggest that you watch the videos and see for yourself how fascinating his story really is. It's amazing what can be done when you put your mind to something... This is an interesting website and has some pictures of some of his devices and such. He mentioned several times that people just don't understand how magnetic currents work...

As old Ed said... "it's not difficult really, the secret is in knowing how"

Here are some interesting facts about old Ed...

He had a 4th grade education.
He was a Mason
He moved to Florida from Latvia
The government refused to let him patent his perpetual motion magnet machine and it was shortly after that that he was beaten.
The government kept asking him to send his machine to them. His patent plans have never been found.
He had iron soles in his shoes
The author of the book states that he has never been interviewed by a Florida radio station... this is a local wonder that holds many secrets and he's never been interviewed by a local radio station?
After Ed took himself to the hospital he died there of malnurishment. During the 3 days he was in the hospital his place was looted and parts of his machine were taken. He didn't have anything else to steal. He led a simple life.

___________________________________________________________________

If you're really interested check out this video.
click here... it's an interview with the guy who wrote "waiting for Agnes". He's done a lot of research on this guy and his castle. here and there Now, I'm sorry that I do not agree with the aliens aspect that is suggested... but it mentions the pyramids and their natural mumification qualities and other aspects which I found quite fascinating. it's an 11-parter; you can find the rest on youtube. It has a LOT more information and is quite detailed. If this interests you then definitely check out these videos.
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Water for Elephants

2011-08-10T18:19:00.001-07:00

I just finished Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. Yes, the book. Not the movie. I read the book. Sheesh. I thought the book sounded interesting so I read a few reviews and didn't like them so I opted out of reading it. Then when I saw the movie was coming out I figured I needed to hurry up and read it so that I could watch the movie. So I did.

I mostly like what the NewYorkTimes review says, although I did not read this particular review before reading the book. I read Amazon's reviews and that's where I got my skepticism from. As of this writing there are 133 one-star reviews and 2,079 five-star reviews. Yes, two-thousand is a big number but 133 is also a pretty big number and it's big enough to make me think twice about reading a book. Elizabeth Judd of the NYTimes says this: "Gruen's prose is merely serviceable, and she hurtles through cataclysmic events, overstuffing her whiplash narrative with drama (there's an animal stampede, two murders and countless fights). She also asserts a grand passion between Jacob and Marlena that's never convincingly demonstrated." And I think that pretty much sums it up.

I am happy that I read the book. I ended up enjoying it and I really loved the ending. But it is nowhere near the best book I've ever read. I was disturbed that I didn't really feel the romantic feelings between Jacob and Marlena. I enjoyed more the relationship between Jacob and Walter the clown. I could feel the emotions in that relationship more than the supposed romantic one.

I would not rate it a 1 and I would not rate it a 5. I'd say it's about a 3 or a 3.5 mostly because I enjoyed the story overall. At the end of the book there is an interview with Gruen. I always enjoy reading the interviews with authors after reading a book. She apparently did a lot of research and fell in love with the circus world. I have to admit it's kindof a romantic idea. She also mentions two female elephants that she believes deserve to be remembered. She fashioned Rosie, the elephant in the book, on these two real elephants. So of course I had to do my own bit of research on them. . . .

TOPSY THE ELEPHANT - Topsy killed her handler after he fed her a lit cigarette. It was her third strike and was therefor slated for execution. They were going to hang her publicly but the public thought that was cruel and unusual. So Topsy's owners contacted Thomas Edison and he executed her with electric current to help prove a point he'd been trying to get across. You can also Google Topsy the elephant if you'd like to know more.

OLD MOM the ELEPHANT - Old Mom understood German but did not respond to English. She was purchased from circus legend & father of the modern zoo Carl Hagenbeck who claimed her to be the smartest elephant that ever lived. However the purchasers did not realize she only understood German; they couldn't get her to do anything but shuffle around. They finally retrained her to respond to English and she went on the a dazzling career.

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Here's a preview of the movie, which I have not seen yet but I heard it was pretty good.

ps... I love the cover of the book. very cool. You gotta pick a good cover.

If you decide to read it I doubt you will be disappointed if you do not expect absolutely amazing things.

something beautiful

2011-08-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

Time to share some more music. What is it about music that speaks to us so much? Or at least to me. I feel like it expresses so much what I cannot say. I love the chords and the feeling I get from it.

All good music resembles something. Good music stirs by its mysterious resemblance to the objects and feelings which motivated it. - Jean Cocteau

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Here is a newly discovered favorite of mine. I love the old style of this video and the way their voices blend. They make such beautiful harmonies. I just can't get enough of them... The Civil Wars. I also love their song Poison and Wine; you have to check it out, it's powerful.

Dance Me to the End of Love

"dance me very tenderly dance me very long "

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I heard Vicci Martinez on The Voice, which was an okay show but I ended up really loving Vicci. She seems to sing with so much heart, and I think her voice is great and she's short and spunky. What's not to love?! Here is one of her originals below; Peace of Mind... I thought her version of The Dog Days Are Over was amazing as well.

"& I do appreciate what you've shown me, cuz I'm better after all.

& I know that you and I are gonna find some peace of mind."

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Tony Lucca! Here's a fun one. When I was living in Maryland I stumbled across him and went to see him in a little coffee shop and he was totally fabulous. He seems to be doing really well and I'm so happy that he is because I think he is very talented and I do love his music. Isn't it fun when you discover something on your own and it's not shoved down your throat on the radio every day... Here's my favorite of his below, Pretty Things. Check out Darlin' I as well.

"been reading all the letters that you wrote me, all the fairy tales that you sold me"

below: I Can I Will I Do - my favorite of his.

"passion aint no kind of passion at all when it's your heart that it steals"

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I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me-like food or water. -Ray Charles

There's nothing like music to relieve the soul and uplift it.
-Mickey Hart

garbledeegoop

2011-07-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

That's a word that my mother used to use and probably still does on occasion :) I couldn't think of a specific topic to write about today so I'm just gonna free-write and just go with it and see what comes out. I have a lot of things on my brain; a lot of garbledeegoop!

I guess I'll start with an update on what's going on with me lately. Grandpa is in the living room, "watching" the news. For those of you who don't know, that means napping. He's got a busy summer. He went to the lake already, came home and did yard work, then he's going for a week long backpacking trip (yes he's 80).. after that he is going to rest a week (ie: do more yardwork) and then bike to Bozeman to help seniors in high school learn about the wild wilderness.. He's a busy man. Notice how I said let me tell you what's going on in my life and I tell you about my grandpa. Of course. But he's an inspiration to a lot of people and to me. Therefor it must be mentioned.

I'm posting some pictures below of my latest hiking adventure. It was exhilarating to be out in nature like that all by myself. I'm trying to pick my next hike. I would love to go bike the Hiawatha Bike Trail soon. I've been trying to go for a long time but it hasn't worked out yet. It's kindof a far drive & I think it would be more fun to go with someone for that particular adventure. I've had a bit of a hard time finding adventure partners and that's been a little bit frustrating. But I'm a big girl and I can do things on my own. It's good to be alone but I'm also pretty social and being female I feel successful and happy when I have good relationships. When my relationships aren't very strong I feel 'down'. So that's something I've been dealing with also; it seems that everyone is too busy with their schedules and doing things with their significant others. I pray about it and God has truly been helping me with that.

My job situation has improved. I'm still working weekend afternoons at a mental health group home and I am really liking it. I've also recently been hired at a Youth Home for kids in transition. I'm only relief staff right now but there are a few openings and I'm hoping to get one of them. I'm very excited because I really like working there so far. They have a wonderful philosophy and I've been trying to get work in the youth field for a long time now. I have a big heart for kids in trouble. Youth are amazing and people don't see it sometimes. I believe all the problems of the world can be fixed with proper parenting, but it has to start at the beginning. It's so sad that our kids get treated worse than our pets.

I'm starting to think that maybe this really is the field I want to be in and that's really exciting because lately I've been wondering if I'm even going in the right direction.

peekaboo!!!

I did my first hike of the season; my first hike in a long long time, all by myself!!!
Glenn Lake behind me, still covered in snow and ice! well not ALL of it.

See the whole lake wasn't frozen. I met a nice older couple up there.
They were setting up camp.

checking in

2011-06-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

Just checkin' in with y'all. I have several topics that I'm getting ready to blog about but I first need to sit down and write them and get all my thoughts in perspective. But I thought I'd post a little teaser...

First of all, I don't want to delve into great detail here but my very good friend's mother was murdered. Here is the link to the article in the Missoulian. It's such an awfully sad story. She's been dealing with a lot so I don't think it would be right to make a huge article about it, but I want people to know. And I couldn't just ignore it either. There are some things I want to mention in regards to this later on as well.
She was a such a vibrant friendly woman in every way. She was always up for fun and/or mischief. Such a joy to be around. She always made me feel welcome. I will miss her.

I attended campmeeting in Bozeman this last week and I'm excited to tell y'all about my experience there.

I've had some pretty serious work issues lately and I've got some interesting ideas on that.

Those are the main things I'm pondering and hope to delve into later on. For right now I've got things to do!

Peace&Love

sharing some funnies

2011-05-18T18:49:00.001-07:00

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.

~Jean Houston~

I would like to share some funny websites that I love. According to this website, laughter is good for you. It releases the same endorphins that are released during exercise and sex. These endorphins can temporarily relieve pain and give you an overall sense of well-being. I can vouch for the exercise part of that. And how many times have you laughed and then though how much life sucked afterwards?

someEcards - this website is a free e-card site where you can create your own e-cards or use cards previously created by other users. It's a lot of fun to make your own because you can customize them to people if you want. If you think you make a particularly great one you can submit it for other people to vote on. Here's one that I recently made after all the scandals with the high-power men cheating with their maids. Their created cards particularly play to my dry and sometimes wordy sense of humor. <3 Check it out.

deargirlsaboveme.com - this one was forwarded to me by a friend and I loved it instantaneously! These two dumb girls moved in above this guy's apartment and he can hear everything they say so he started "writing letters to them" with quotes from the things they say. It is absolutely hilarious. You can't make this stuff up.

CatalogLiving - I can't tell you how much I love this site. A+++ . It's created by this woman Molly Erdman who posts pictures from catalogs and creates captions based upon her fictional characters Gary and Elaine. You know how sometimes pictures in catalogs are completely ridiculous? This pokes fun at the decorating that goes into these often silly poses. It's quite funny. I don't know, maybe it's my twisted sense of humor but looking through these I often find myself laughing out loud. I hope you do too.

CuteOverload - This site isn't so much funny as it is adorable. If you're every feeling down go to this website and look at some cute puppies, kitties and hamsters and you'll instantly feel a little better about life.

Bo Burnham - Warning!!! Explicit Content! (not the website, but his music is quite explicit & offensive). It's often very uncomfortable to listen to, which I personally love, but it's not for everyone. He's this skinny, white nerdy boy who raps. He's very clever which is what I love most about it. If you'd like to check out some of his less explicit stuff here's a good one; 3.14 apple pie. And a few more that aren't QUITE as explicit (HighSchool Party, Rehab for Fictional Characters, The Perfect Woman, Love Is... ) If you don't like 3.14 apple pie you won't like any of his stuff. Just warning ya!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

~e.e. cummings~

And if you want to keep looking and see some more funnies here's a list of the top 15 funniest websites according to some people.

Outdoors in Montana

2011-05-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

I know it's Monday but I forgot to post last night. Well, I was at work so I had an excuse. These are some beautiful flowers in my backyard! I'm so excited that it's finally spring! I love Montana flowers. Sundays in My City is from another blog that I found (can't remember how I stumbled across it). You post pictures from Sundays in your city and link back to her blog. It's kinda neat. And I like taking pictures so why not! I've been meaning to do this for awhile.

a row of daffodils.

People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.

~Iris Murdoch, A Fairly Honourable Defeat

does anyone know what these flowers are called?

Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty out values all the utilities of the world.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1844

Give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where I can walk undisturbed.

~Walt Whitman

Healthnut - getting there

2011-05-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm kindof a health nut. I haven't always followed it properly like I know I should. But I know what I should be doing and when I try I do a pretty good job. Lately I've noticed a lot of non-healthy behaviors. Specifically at my job. People are fed hamburger helper and when they are fed something healthy they turn up their nose at it in favor of a PB&J on white bread. ugh. I'm confused. Has it always been like this?

I seem to remember the "hot lunches" at school being pretty grotesque. I always brought a lunch from home. Sure, sometimes I wanted to eat the mac&cheese or the gooey pizza but it was more of a pride thing with me. "Look at me, I don't wear Nikes or eat Hot Lunch"! Now though, I do think it's something to be proud of. I see people downing multiple Mountain Dews in one afternoon on a daily basis and it's rather sad when you really think about it. We're so overworked that we think we need this stuff. When in reality all it takes is a bit of healthy eating and exercise on a regular basis to get your body back to a baseline where you can function properly without all that crap in your system. But it's hard work to start it, it really is. That's why it's good to have people around you who support your choices and make good choices themselves.

If you want to start, start small. Cut out the sodas every day. Maybe have one every other day until you're down to once a week or so. Soda's aren't the devil, but they can be if you drink them every day.

* Drink WATER! Your body needs it and will thank you for it. Start in the morning

* Eat wheat bread instead of white. Check the ingredients. If it says "enriched whole wheat flour" DON'T buy it. Not if it says enriched. Only get "whole wheat flour" or a variation of that. Enriched basically means dyed white flour.

* Eat breakfast. Even if it's just a banana.

* Try replacing the sugar in your coffee with honey. Try it, you might like it.

* Go for a walk, then increase it bit by bit. Start jogging or biking, take a class.... Anything to get your body moving. It will increase endorphins which will make you happier and in turn make you more productive. It gets oxygen to your brain and clears your head; always a good thing, especially these days.

* Eat less meat. I'm not saying cut it out completely, but just try to make a few meals each week that don't include meat. And eat more fish if you're gonna eat a meat.

Those are my basic starters. Just work on those things for a month and see how you feel about yourself.
After that keep going with bigger changes. Try going a whole week without meat, start expandinng your vegetable vocabulary, try some new grains (I love buckwheat and oats cooked together for breakfast & japanese soba noodles). Start exercising more and try doing something different, set a goal. Try black tea for breakfast with honey and cream instead of coffee for 2 days out of the week... Just keep going. Pretty soon you won't miss those things that you thought you needed every day.

Believe me, it is doable. Baby steps. And don't beat yourself up.

If there was one thing I would say to do first is exercise. Just going for a walk clears your head and gets you thinking. So grab a friend and take a stroll. You'll be surprised how much better you feel just after doing that.

Good luck!

To Do List + Hodgepodge

2011-04-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

So this is what happens when you have a life. You stop blogging. Ok that's not true for everyone but it's true for me sometimes. I get busy and then neglect it. On the upside, I'm kinda busy, which means my job and social life are going alright. The job is good but it's only relief/on-call so I don't get that many hours. I'm looking for a part time job as well but so far I've gotten 3 rejection letters. I'm waiting on 5 more. Yes, I sent out that many applications. It's hard work and there's gotta be some seriously qualified people applying for these jobs if they won't even give me an interview. It's depressing.

I feel like I need to be doing something with my life. Like everyone around me is doing so well but me. I know that's probably not true but that's sure how it feels a lot of the time. I'd love to be self-employed. I've thought about doing event planning. And still trying to learn calligraphy. And of course I have my endless list of hobbies that I enjoy.

Oh... I was also told that I couldn't be a foster dog owner because I don't have a fenced yard. WTF. I've rehabilitated several dogs. The most successful (Penny) in an apartment, without a yard of any kind, fenced or otherwise. It really makes me mad at shelters because they're always talking about how much they need stuff but then when someone like me comes along to help it's not good enough. The dog I wanted to foster doesn't have a chance in you know where of getting adopted because it's not friendly. And I was willing to help, but nooooo my help isn't good enough.

Sorry about the jumping around. It's been awhile so there's a lot of ground to cover.

I do think I need to make a to-do list of things that I need to/want to do... Back to monthly goals. We'll call this May goals because that's just easier.

1. Look into learning to make cheese
2. Research event planning
3. stop dozing because I can't remember what else I want to put on my list
4. Finish list later when brain is functioning....

Thanks for stopping by!

sucking out the juice - upper downer

2011-03-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

I was writing a letter to a friend and I used this phrase to explain how I thought we both like to experience life... we both want to suck the juice out of life. Regrettably it doesn't always happen the way we want it to and we whine just as much as anybody about the unfairness of it all. ... but overall we both enjoy life. I think we all go through phases of being happy with our lives and being disheartened by them.

(I like this musician - Joshua Radin... & this is a great song/video)

So what do you do when you're feeling down and traumatized by life? I started writing this entry about a week ago when I was feeling high off of life. But now I've come full circle and I'd started feeling blue. But today I'm back to "normal" again. Not high and not low. Even keel. Which is good. I noticed when I started feeling differently and I've been trying to pay attention to what it is that's making my emotions change. I've noticed that as I've gotten older I can pinpoint changes in my body as well as my mood. My body is starting to stabilize (finally! it's been feeling like a teenager for years!!!) ... I can't say the same for my mood though. I don't think it's capable of stabilizing.

So after paying attention to my changing mood I think I pinpointed a couple things...

1. a few of my close friends have been feeling blue lately & maybe it rubbed off a bit

2. i'm mad that my job isn't doing a better job of training me & it's making me feel useless

3. money. of course.

4. during my CASA training sessions I'm feeling like people don't value my input

I think that all of these combined (except for $) is keeping me from having a genuine connection with another person. In my classes & training we're learning about Active Listening, Motivational Interviewing, and Successful Communication Techniques... Ok... the point is to make sure the other person feels heard. I think I do that pretty darn well. But I've been feeling like no one is hearing ME. And every time I bring up something in my training or class sessions it seems like I get blown off. I need someone to listen to me. So what happens is after a few times of being cut off I just shut down and don't offer any input at all because no one's listening. Which in turn makes me feel crummy, but I'm not one to butt into something if no one is paying attention to me.

So that's WHY I've been feeling like that. But last night during work I had a nice chat with one of the overnight girls. She was very nice and is also still pretty new like me, so we had some fun griping about all the things that we think are going wrong in our job :) It was nice because we both listened to each other, especially nice that she listened to me. I felt heard and valued, and I hope that she did too.

I think it's important to figure out WHY you feel bad when you do. How can you get around it if you don't know what it is? And if it's something that you can't do anything about, at least you know it and can work on accepting it. So that's my big advice.

What I need to know is... if what you need is something from someone else how do you get that? How do you get someone to give you what you need? Like a listening ear, without outright telling them "HEY! I need you to listen to me!"

Story of a Child Soldier

2011-02-25T23:53:00.000-08:00

DID YOU KNOW THAT: over 30 wars and conflicts rage around the world.Many of these wars go unreported, often due to political expediency or lack of interest. -WarChildInternational-

A Long Way Gone. Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. by Ishmael Beah.

I just finished this book and it was incredible. It's about the civil war in Sierra Leon and Ishmael and other children and families' fights to survive. Young boys were turned into soldiers in order to defeat the rebels and many many lives were ruined. It's a tragic story. As far as my opinion of the book... it has a lot of difficult things to read but was written incredibly well. I know that I personally enjoy reading about controversial topics and also enjoy true crime books, so I have a little higher tolerance for that sort of thing. But the way that Beah wrote the book was in such a way that the painful things did not completely overwhelm you. They are facts, as I'm sure they were to him at the time. Get through the day. That's it. Cut & Dried.

Here is Ishmael reading an exert from his book

I'd like to make a comment the part that music played in his life. I've always thought that music can heal and in this case it not only helps him do that but saves his life in certain instances. Growing up he listened to American rap music with his friends and they would learn the lyrics and dance and sing for crowds... not too different from what my friends and I used to do back in the day... after the war started and they were forced to run from village to village people didn't trust them because so many young boys were being recruited into the war; both on the rebel side and the soldier side. They were taken into villages and threatened and given tests to prove they weren't soldiers. Many times his rap cassette saved their lives. And after he was taken to the rehabilitation camp listening to music again brought him back to reality and sanity. Props to rap music! I never would've thought!!! -----------sidenote----------- in the last youtube clip I've included here he mentions hip hop; he says that he enjoyed the early hip hop because of the words that were used in the lyrics, like soliloquy... which he says are not used in rap music today. Interesting. ----------------------------------

When I read a true story I like to do more research after I've finished it. I've read enough memoirs and non-fiction that I can say I believe that truth is stranger than fiction. It really is. You can't write some of the things that come up in non-fiction books. It's incredible. I have such respect for this incredible person. And he is so well spoken. I've included several links throughout this post - UNICEF was the organization that stepped in to help rehabilitate these children. I've also found WarChild which is another organization that does the same things. TheChildrenOfWar is another one.

Here's another interesting clip from youtube... it's a clip of Ishmael on some tv show talking about the book. It's a great clip, especially if you'd like to hear about the story before reading the book, or just hear about stuff from the author himself. check it out.......

And another... where he speaks at a school. Very interesting. This one is a lot longer than the previous one. His English is so good! .....cute guy too :) Too bad his facebook says he's "in a relationship". darn that facebook! haha Oh well. ;)

Ishmael's attitude is so inspiring. For a child to go from incredible daily violence to the well spoken and positive man he is today is incredible. He mentions how the human spirit is resilient. How true. Especially a child's. It never ceases to amaze me the things that people get through and can turn around and use for good. "it's a long term goal, it is difficult, but it's possible". These kinds of stories remind me that life is ultimately beautiful and we should respect it.

Oh, I also have to mention... when he finally comes to New York for a child of war conference they didn't tell him that he needed a COAT in DECEMBER in NEW YORK!!! What!? hahaahahaha. How could they do that to this poor guy from Africa!? He had no idea! He says it was snowing and the only relationship he had with snow was Christmas movies and he said he thought "it must be Christmas every day!" I love the way he describes his experience of New York in the book. It's so funny! He says it's the most uncomfortable country in the world! Freezing cold outside and HOT inside! (cuz they didn't show him how to turn down the thermostat!). The things we take for granted... interesting stuff man.

http://www.unicef.org/

I'm trying to speak your language

2011-02-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have some thoughts on friendships. I've had the good fortune to have some wonderful ones over the years, some that I've had since middle school. I am slow to make friends, I always have been that way. But when I make a friend it's usually for life. I have been burned by people who I thought were my friends. It happened recently and was a shock to me. I'd never known people like that existed, at least not in my world. I guess maybe it's made me take another look at how I trust people. I trusted those people and they turned on me and made my life as miserable as they possibly could. I thought I'd always been careful to keep those kinds of people out of my life. But they got in and that kindof shook my little world.

It's not just that though, the past 3 years of my life have brought people into my life and I've also lost people. It's caused me to value my true friendships that much more. I realize that I may have alienated a few friends more than I thought I did. It's a shame, but in the end you find out who your true friends are.

Some people have not made much of an effort to be my friend and I have to accept the fact that maybe they don't really want to be. I have to be okay with that. People grow, People change and if they don't want to put value in my friendship then that's the way it has to be. I can't force people to give me the attention I want. I have to recognize that maybe they don't value me in the same way I value them. And so be it. Instead of focusing on a loss I can focus on those people who have reached out to me and been there for me.

One thing I've learned over the years is that sometimes you have to be the one to mend a friendship, even if you don't believe you were in the wrong. I've been through some rough times with friends and at times I truly felt that they were in the wrong. But in the end, I value their friendship, I value them as a person. So I reached out, and it's been so much more rewarding than focusing on anger and resentment.

Also, sometimes you have to speak the other person's language. I think it's the same as a love language; it's the way that person communicates and feels valued. For example, I'm a letter writer and I love to write and send letters. I realize that not everyone likes to write letters. But, I have a friend who takes time out of her busy day to send me a letter every once in awhile. It's nothing long or elaborate, but she's speaking my language! It makes me feel special and loved to receive a piece of communication from my friend who is trying to communicate with me in a way that she knows makes me feel good.

Give your friends a break. This can be hard for me sometimes. I want my friends to do everything the right way! haha. But that is just not real life. Sometimes my friends frustrate me and really anger me, but I have to remember that they are people too. If I expect for my friends to cut me some slack sometimes then I need to do the same for them. It's all small stuff anyways. In the end, it doesn't really matter.

So I vent about things and complain. So what! Who doesn't? I just hope that my friends know how much I value them in my life. You should tell your friends too. Every once in awhile let them know you care. It will mean a lot to them.

"Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"

- Bronwyn Polson

here i be!

2011-02-13T15:27:00.000-08:00

Well I finally made it to Montana. Took me 3 1/2 days. I got to drive through some of that wonderful weather that Texas and Colorado got, but luckily I missed the worst parts. I didn't have to drive through the storm, I basically followed it. I know a lot of people don't like long drives like that but I enjoyed it. Something about the solitude; being alone and thinking, listening to music, audio books. It was nice. Just me and Sally. My car can hold a LOT of stuff!

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The Destructiveness of a Love that Never Changes

click to view this artist's other work

I listened to Wuthering Heights on the way . I read it in high school. For some reason I really love it. Neither character (Catherine or Heathcliff) have any redeeming qualities. But something about the story draws me in. Maybe I like the fact that they aren't good people. They don't win in the end anyways. Books don't always have to be written about good people. In the sparknotes to Wuthering Heights one of the quotes is explained, where Catherine says I am Heathcliff - In following the relationship through to its painful end, the novel ultimately may attest to the destructiveness of a love that denies difference. It is explained that in literature, love is described in terms of opposites; like the sun and the moon, frost & fire. So I understand why Catherine's words do not make sense. We have to recognize differences and she does not.

Also, they refused to allow change. Young Catherine and Hareton (in the second half of the book) allow themselves to change and accept each other's changes and differences. Heathcliff and Catherine are stuck in their childhood love and although take on different lives refuse to adapt to those lives and in the end their refusal to accept it and move destroys them. This is not a love story, it's a story of revenge. Sortof like The Count of Monte Cristo, where revenge also destroys him.

Interesting.

I like reading classics when certain things can be explained. That's what I loved reading literature in school; the teachers would explain the era and why things were important. It make the books so much more interesting and relevant. Here's an interesting short summary of the book. (the narrator of the audio book was excellent by the way).

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So, here I am in Montana. It's quite surreal as I've never actually had my own car here even though I've been back several times. It seems unreal to be living here. I hope everything turns out alright. It's nice to be close to other family members, although I still miss my mom a lot. She's off meandering in Peru!

I also started another audio book after finishing with Wuthering Heights. It's called The Last Girls, by Lee Smith. It's quite a good book; it reminds me of The Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. It's located in the south; Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi... and it's kind of a coming of age story; like Now and Then where the girls are adults now and are remembering their childhoods. I really like the style of the book; each chapter is written from a different perspective and that keeps me interested. The audio book is narrated by the author herself and she did a great job! (you know I always enjoy a well-narrated book).

Well that's all for now. I'm glad to be off the road and now we'll see what new adventures Montana can bring.

February Goals

2011-02-02T10:49:00.000-08:00

I have not been very diligent in my monthly goal postings, or my monthly goals at all for that matter. I've just kind of been all over the place, physically and mentally. So making goals and posting them has just not been on my radar. But I am ready to get my life back on track and ready to start focusing on goals again. I'm moving back to Montana and I am looking forward to it but also very sad that I can't see my mother as much as I would like. I've very much missed having her around and this last month has been so nice. But I have to do the right thing for me, which is moving to Montana.

Nothing is Permanent. Nothing is Wasted. I don't have to worry about making the wrong decision. Just because I move somewhere doesn't mean I have to live there forever. And things can always change. Because Change is the Only Constant. I love that quote.

Over the next month or so I would like to...

Find a job or two. I actually have an interview! Hooray! So hopefully that will work out and I will also be able to find another one as well.
Save money from those jobs that I WILL find!
Pay off bills/debts (not necessarily all in one month, HA)
Connect with the Bitterroot CASA program. CASA is such a great program. I'm a guardian ad litem for at-risk youth and CASA connects me with a child and I advocate for that child's best interest in the court and with all of the people that are involved in the child's case. The child will most likely be in foster care and needs extra attention in the court system. It's a great way to give back and you can really make a difference just by being there.
Connect with Bitterroot Therapeutic Riding Program. I adore horses! I've just found this program and I've sent in my application. I'm hoping that I can be a part of it. They seem like a very well put-together organization.
Get a haircut. I am such a procrastinator.
See old friends.
Do things that I enjoy, for me.

click to view this artist's gallery

Hummingbirds

2011-02-01T09:26:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to update on the Phoebe the hummingbird and her little babies. Well, they're not so little anymore! You can see their little tongues poke in and out! so cute! I've noticed she doesn't stick her beak as far down their gullets as she used to. haha. Man you would think she was stabbing them!

http://www.sportsmansparadiseonline.com/Live_Hummingbird_Cam.html

If you're interested in feeding your own hummingbirds, please check out this website. They have feeder care tips for feeding your hummingbirds. You don't want to do it incorrectly because you could make them sick. They are very sensitive.

Most Important Tips

Clean the feeder regularly!!!

Don't use Dye/Honey/Artificial Sweeteners

Make your own "juice" don't buy commercial food

Here are some interesting clips of Phoebe. If you're not constantly watching you can miss stuff, so it's nice to be able to go back and see some clips and pictures. Here's another interesting website on hummers.

Hummingbird Food Recipe

One (1) Part Granulated White Sugar
mixed into:
Four (4) Parts Boiled Water(measured hot water has small
evaporation loss so you will end up
with the required one to four ratio)
COOL to Room Temperature
then fill feeder.

I enjoy wildlife. Isn't it great that we have these cameras and are privileged to see these amazing birds up close like this? I think it's the coolest thing! I hope you enjoy it too.

Making Yourself a Priority

2011-01-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
??? Mark Twain / Kelly Angard ???

What a great quote. Here's an interesting thing. I was meandering around on the web and came across it, and was interested in what might come up if I copy/pasted it into Google. The first link I clicked took me to this interesting blogger (funny how they just pop up all over the place) and also that this artist Kelly Angard has the quote copy-righted to her name. ? Apparently she has an original piece of artwork with that quote attributed to it. But here's what she says underneath the picture - photo & quote: ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©2006 kelly angard
DO NOT REPRINT OR POST QUOTE or PHOTOGRAPH without consent from KELLY ANGARD.

But whatever. I went to Kelly's website and she really has some very interesting photos. I rather like her stuff. So I have no problem including her links on my blog. I wish I could post some of her pictures cuz they're beautiful. And I love her use of quotes. I'm a big quote fan.

Anyways, back to the qutoe...
Sometimes I have to remind myself to do this; make myself a priority. It's not that I worry about what people think of me but that I don't want to disappoint those people close to me. I want to make the decisions they want me to make because it'll make them happy. I know it's silly. It doesn't make sense to a lot of people and I don't know why I'm like that. Must be that codependency coming out in me. Other people's happiness makes me happy. But I can't do that when I know what the right decision for me is. It's still hard.

I'm trying to work in it and not worry about disappointing people. The truth is, is that I know that my family and friends will not and are not disappointed by me in the least! But my brain is silly and doesn't always remember that. So it's all crazy; here I am with a wonderful supportive family and circle of wonderful friends who love me for me, and I'm trying to make them happy with my own decisions??? wtf right?! They're already happy with me so I don't need to do anything more.

So I'll keep reminding myself of these things. Maybe I'll write out the quote and tape it to my monitor.

I Googled "how to make yourself a priority" and found some stuff on ehow.com.

Plan Plan Plan Your Day

must dos/should dos/like to dos

rank them by importance (As, Bs & Cs)

remember to schedule time for yourself throughout the day

Get Up Early

have some quiet time with a coffee/book... whatever

this will also help you feel more relaxed and prepared for the day's challenges

Begin Your Day!

cross out your list of to-dos throughout the day; it will make you feel accomplished

check with yourself throughout the day

Keep it Up

you can do more when you take time for yourself

if you're feeling good you'll keep doing it

Wildlife Webcams

2011-01-21T22:28:00.000-08:00

I'd like to share something fun with you. Wildlife Webcams. Last year I got to see a barn owl cam with brand new babies! It was pretty cool. It looks like there are several cool things this year as well.

Here are a few that look particularly good...
Hummingbird & Babies - (better viewed during the day) This is a really cool one.
Bald Eagle Nest - California (better viewed during the day)
Mating Pair of Barn Owls - also California (can be viewed at night)
3 Baby Squirrels SO CUTE! - again, California. geez! (can be viewed at night)
Bear Cam - Minnesota (can be viewed at night) I'm not sure how often the bears show up

African Watering Hole - not sure how many animals show up; I think it'd be cool.
Australia Wildlife cam - pretty birds are there pretty often it seems. (can be viewed at night b/c when it's night here it's day there)

Well that's just about it. I think they all have something neat to offer. Hopefully you show up just at the right time to see something cool. Luckily though some of them always have something going one. I love the baby squirrels and the hummingbird babies!

Posted below are a few of my screenshots. Isn't Phoebe the hummingbird just beautiful!?

Phoebe the hummingbird

Barn Owl

this one is from the Australian backyard wildlife cam

Momma feeding hungry babies! She does this a lot so you've got a good chance of catching it

here are the babies! can you see their tiny little beaks? don't they look like caterpillars?!

two music videos I adore

2011-01-20T11:54:00.000-08:00

"Music does bring people together.
It allows us to experience the same emotions.
People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit.
No matter what language we speak, what color we are,
the form of our politics or the expression of our love and our faith,
music proves: We are the same."
~ John Denver ~

Here are two music videos that I think are great. Completely different. The second one made me cry.

_________________________________________________________

I love the message of this one. Who cares what everybody else thinks. Live you own life.
I really love Pink. Her music is always saying something. She doesn't care about what anybody thinks. She writes crazy songs, songs with a message, and some that are really gut wrenchingly personally.
I've always been a fan.
Here's a touching one she sang the Grammys - Glitter in the Air
I also love Fun House because the way she dances in the video is so fun! It makes me want to dance.

_________________________________________________________

This one is sung by Sara Bareilles but there is no official music video out. This video was made by a filmmaker that I just stumbled accros on YouTube. love YouTube, don't you? I didn't even know it wasn't the official video, it's that good. The singer is, obviously, not her, but she does an excellent acting job. WELL DONE to the maker - Sean Willis.

It's a beautiful song and the video is an interesting interpretation of it. Like I said, made me cry.

I think Sara Bareilles is fascinating; a true artist. Writes her own songs and is more amazing in person than on her cds. I had the pleasure of seeing her live at Rams Head Live in Annapolis MD. She was wonderful. Her music is so catchy with messages and she isn't whiney about life. She just seems like a real upbeat kind of person. Love!

Here's some more videos/songs I like - Morningside

This one's powerful - City

And of course, I love her newest video/song - King of Anything. it's so spunky!

I go into it a little more - here - in response to my post about codependency.

"Music washes away from the soul
the dust of everyday life."
~ Berthold Auerbach (1812-1882) ~

So thanks for allowing me go on this mini musical blog binge and tell you about some videos I love. I suppose I could be writing about "better" things but music is so important to me that I like to share things that inspire me with others. I hope you like them.

I've been working a lot on my resume lately so I think I'm gonna post some about how to put your resume together. Of course I'm using some excellent books which, of course! I will share with YOU!

let me hold your crown, babe

2011-01-18T23:08:00.000-08:00

Ok so I just finished a post about codependant relationships and how I think they are not all created equal. I think this song goes to my interpretation of some of the kinds of things I've experienced. I've posted the lyrics and italicized & colored the parts that make me think of codependence so you can see what I'm seeing. I think it's pretty interesting.

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside

So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man

We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked

So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine

And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning

There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent

Swear you know best

But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction

But you’ll never see

You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps

You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy

While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

I love that last line. Makes me smile :)

During my reading on codependence someone had Kelly Clarkson's Miss Independence video posted in relation to codependence. I can see it, although it's a little different; but it speaks to the loss of independence (even though this video doesn't mention it as a bad thing). Another interesting thought. What do you think?

Me and My Frenemy Codependence.

2011-01-18T17:01:00.000-08:00

This is where I indulge myself and just spew everything I'm thinking about codependence all over my blog.

It's recently been brought to my attention that I have an issue with codependent relationships. haha. You're probably thinking, um Yeah!! 'bout time Ciara! ... I just recently saw quote this online somewhere...

Codependence is doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful.

"Codependence is like a leech. It starts slowly, stealing every other one of your weekends, and continues to suck you dry until every single day is consumed by your codependent relationship." That is so incredibly well said. It is so much like a leech. If you click on that link it'll take you to an interesting website that talks about codependent relationships and how to get your life back from them.

Now, I've been doing a bit of reading but haven't found the right material. According to a lot of the stuff I've read...

1. Codependents typically grew up with someone with an addiction or have one themselves.

2. Are Perfectionistic and Distrustful.

3. Do not want to talk about feelings because it will cause the relationship not to go smoothly.

4. They see problems with everyone and feel they are the only one that can fix it...

5. Have difficulty making decisions and leave everything up to the other person.

6. Are controlling.

I mean WOW. That stuff is totally not me. I love discussing issues but what I've found is that other people don't want to. I do not feel like I'm the only one that can fix problems and I'm not distrustful or a perfectionist. Oh, and I SOOOOOO do NOT have difficulty making decisions. (ok sometimes with certain things) but what I found was that I was the person making ALL the decisions! not the other way around. And I am not controlling.

There are a lot of websites throwing around things like this about codependents and it's really confusing and misguiding. Maybe there are a lot of different degrees to codependents. And I also think that there are people who are attracted to that type of person and that makes the whole thing worse.

What I do know about myself and agree with...I...

1. Feel guilty when being assertive or don't assert myself when I have a need

2. Have had a physical illness related to stress

3. Consistently feel unfulfilled in relationships

4. Have care-taking behavior.... most definitely.

5. Will avoid doing things for me to make sure things go smoothly in the relationship.

You know, I think I just don't fit in any type of box. I don't feel like I'm this big codependent person. I enjoy taking care of other people, yes, and I think my problem is that I have had relationships where it's taken advantage of. I think if I were in a relationship with a person with healthy boundaries and such, these issues would be non-existent because I would feel fulfilled and comfortable.

Maybe I have a problem with codependent RELATIONSHIPS and it's not so much me being a neeeeedy whiney codependent PERSON.

Either way, I will continue to look into it in the hopes of bettering myself and building a happier future. You have to start somewhere and you have to accept some unpleasant things about yourself if you're going to move forward and make a change.

Eminem/Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie

Matchbox Twenty - Push

Like I said, I'm just spewing for my own personal pleasure :) The above videos, I think, exemplify unhealthy codependent relationships.

spew over.

_____________________________________________________________________

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

By the way, I gotta say how much I love Sara Bareilles. She is an amazing artist.

Sharing Music

2011-01-16T08:12:00.000-08:00

"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul" - thinkexist.com

I'd Rather Be With You

Joshua Radin

I heard this guy's music on Scrubs, a show that I actually really like. I remember when it first came out and I thought it was the dumbest show. Shows how your tastes can change huh?

I really love music, especially music that speaks. I like music for pure enjoyment as well but music that has a message really touches me. I just recently "discovered" Josh Radin for myself and I would like to share his music because I love it. It also seems as if he's good in person, which says a lot for a singer.

You've Got Growing Up to Do

Joshua Radin

Here's an interesting website - the blogcatalog - if you like music blogs & whatnot... it's a list of blogs dedicated to music.

Is there music that speaks to you?

Noodly Soups

2011-01-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

New Year Noodle Soup

I got this recipe from Heidi Swanson's blog 101 Cookbooks. I also just bought her book and it's a very beautiful book. I haven't tried anything yet and that's mostly because I'm not in charge of my own kitchen yet. But I did make this one because I wanted some soup that was a little spicy and robust. By the way, even with the serrano pepper and everything it is not that spicy. Once you end up boiling it for so long it cools down. So if you like really spicy stuff maybe add an extra half pepper or something. It's all up to you!

I'm not posing all the directions here, you can get that from her website. Her pictures are so much more beautiful anyways and it would be worth it for you just to look at them.

quick-soaking the beans

Here are the ingredients. My changes and comments are in italics...

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, thinly sliced (make sure you get another onion for the toppings! I forgot and only had one onion and used it all directly in the soup and was kindof bummed that I didn't have nice onion topping.)

1 long red chili OR green serrano, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

8 1/2 cups / 2 liters good-tasting vegetable stock/broth (here again, I goofed. I didn't get enough stock, so I added some water and bouillon cubes. My Wal-Mart in hick-ville didn't have veggie stock on hand so I used chicken broth)

100g / 3.5 oz yellow split peas or brown lentils
1 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas, rinsed if using canned
2 cups / 350g cooked borlotti beans (I couldn't find the borlotti beans so I used black-eyed peas. By the way, if you don't soak your beans overnight you can quick soak them, the bag explains how. If you use garbanzos/chickpeas make sure you boil them a little longer)

fine grain sea salt

Here's the fresh ingredients from left... copped green onion, I just added that cuz I wanted to use them, Cilantro, Garlic which I also added on my own, serrano pepper, dill, sweet onion... I used a lemon for the picture just because I thought it needed a different color. What I actually put in the soup was lime and it was Oh So Tasty with the lime!

Thin egg noodles, fresh or dried (again, Wal-Mart did not have thin egg noodles so I got rice noodles. you can also use reg-lar, haha, pasta if you so desire)

3 1/2 oz / 100g fresh spinach leaves, finely shredded
1/2 cup finely shredded cilantro leaves
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill
juice of one lime

I love it with the spinach! Don't forget how much spinach shrinks. I used a LOT.

The toppings I would say are optional. I didn't use any butter. I also didn't have sour cream so I used cottage cheese as a topping which turned out nicely.

Toppings:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 large onion, thinly sliced
100 ml sour cream or creme fraiche
50g / scant 2 ounces of toasted, chopped walnuts

Here is the onion before and after adding the turmeric and cumin... What Color!

Here again is the link for the full recipe - - - 101cookbooks - - - - She has some other very great looking stuff on her website. I am so jealous of her pictures and I want to eat them. I like her approach, healthy foods without all that added crap that you find in so many foods nowadays. People sometimes complain that you can't find all the ingredients to her recipes... to that I say, POO!!! cooking is meant to be an exploration. If you can't find something, substitute it. It won't kill you, or the dish. Play with your food. Don't be so scared to try something because you can't find EVERY single thing that's in the recipe.

I am looking forward to following her guidelines and cutting out a lot of the crap that's pretend food. I want to fuel my engine! :) I look forward to posting more of my exertions into this new dimension of eating.

Self Titled.

2011-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

~Author Unknown~

It's that time of year again; when we set ourselves up for failure for the rest of the year!

I'm just kidding. But really.

I've never been very big on new years resolutions. Mostly I guess because you can't fail at something that you don't resolve to do! :) But it's a new year and a new chapter in my life and I'm bound and determined to make this year better than the last one. I'm not gonna be hard on myself , I'm gonna do things I want to do!

Get fit. Get outdoors. Even though Montana's gonna be FREEZING I'm going to do outside stuff. Even if I have to join a gym I'm gonna get more active. I also plan on making my brother take me backpacking and camping; Yellowstone or Glacier and Baker Lake.

Plant things. I don't know if I can do this yet in the winter but I'm sure there are things I can plant inside. Besides, this is supposed to last all year right? Most especially, tomatoes and herbs. I looooove the smell of ripening tomatoes. Delish!

Can things. Make yogurt and my grandma's famous buttermilk syrup! yum! This includes trying new recipes, that won't be hard for me. I want to try more vegetarian dishes and incorporate and learn how to use different types of grains and whats not.

Make things. This includes practicing my calligraphy. I'm also going to work on my clay faces that my mother likes so much. I'm gonna finally do something with them.

Make money. A prerequisite to all. (this includes SAVING money) Love you Dave Ramsey!

Happy New Year y'all!

I liked this little quote...

The merry year is born

Like the bright berry from the naked thorn.

~Hartley Coleridge

Cleo and Pixie. Cleo is my shadow, Pixie is the little piggy that cried wee wee wee.

That's me. Wishing you a wonderful 2011 filled with happiness and health and a little good luck.

There are so many good quotes out there one New Years... I couldn't pick just one!

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.

~Author Unknown

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;

He who makes one is a fool.

~F.M. Knowles

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin

New Years Prayer

Dear Lord,
In the new year, we pray
that You will guide us each new day
in paths that are pleasing to You.
Lord, the new year gives us another chance
to rededicate our lives to You,
to study Your Word
so that we know right from wrong
and to act in accordance with Your commands.
Thank You for the sense of
direction, purpose and peace we get
from aligning our lives with Your Holy will.
We pray for the strength and the will to obey You
each and every day of the new year,
and when we fail, we pray for Your mercy,
Your compassion, Your grace and Your love.
Help us in the new year to be Your faithful servants.
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

By Joanna Fuchs

writing about books

2010-12-31T15:24:00.000-08:00

If I'm at a loss for things to write about I can always write about books. As you might know, I've been 'reading' a lot of audio books lately. I've always been drawn in by radio drama and audio books. I just think they're the neatest thing. I have found myself in Alabama for a month or so, staying with my parents while I regroup and prepare for my move to Montana; back to my roots. So I find myself with a lot of time on my hands...

I haven't written seriously about anything for awhile. I just haven't felt inspired. However, some books I've been reading are very inspiring. For instance, I rented The Confession by John Grisham to read on my drive down from Maryland. If you're a Grisham fan you may know that he also wrote The Innocent Man, which was a true story. I have not written about this book but I have wanted to.

What makes The Confession such a good book is that there is so much truth and fact in it's pages. As I read it I can tell that he drew so much of it from The Innocent Man. (By the way, I 'read' both as audio books, very well done by the narrators.) As I'm reading The Confession I also feel like Grisham has read a lot of the same books as I have recently. In The Confession the boy on death row is Black, which differs from The Innocent Man. This is not surprising because it's not the same story. BUT I've recently read two other true books written about two different Black men that were arrested. One innocent, one not. But what happens in The Confession is surprisingly similar to what happened to these two men. So The Confession is quite interesting to me personally for these reasons. I love it when books & stories connect like that. I feel like it was written just for me.

Those other two books I read are: In the Place of Justice by Wilbert Rideau and A Death in Belmont by Sebastian Junger; who wrote The Perfect Storm. Both excellent books which I may have to go into later.

If you know anything about my reading habits you probably know how much I like to read true crime. But I also like a well written novel. I had to share with you my enthusiasm for the connection of these books. I hope that if you read The Confession you will be inspired to read The Innocent Man. It's quite an eye opener and quite frustrating at times. The people who work on these cases are amazing people and should be commended.

The Innocence Project worked on Ron Williamson's case in The Innocent Man and they are still fighting to exonerate more innocent people. The system is still very broken in places and there really are police officers and detectives out there who do not care about finding the truth, only about making their own convictions stick. How does an innocent man come within 4 days of being executed? People should know; judges and lawyers should do the right thing.

my beautiful grandmother

2010-12-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

¹⁴ For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. ¹⁵ According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁶ For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ Therefore encourage one another with these words.

This is my grandpa and grandma, Melvin and Gladys Johnson. Married 58 years. They are the most beautiful couple I've ever known and such an inspiration in so many ways. They were always so involved in the church but were never in-your-face about it. It was in the way they lived their lives. My grandmother died Wednesday the day before Thanksgiving, this 2010. As of today it was just a week ago. We are all still reeling from this incredible loss. She was an amazing woman. Really amazing. I can still hear her voice and keep thinking she's gonna walk into the room. I miss her so much. She has been such an important part of my life for so long I never imagined not having her around. I can only imagine how my grandfather is feeling. But at least we all have each other and we will take care of each other and God will help us through this. I love you grandma. You are an inspiration.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances

But they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake

But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart

Leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out

Reconsider

Give the heavens above

More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a real and constant motion always)

(Rolling us along)

(Tell me who

Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)

(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

Like Woah!

2010-10-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

I've fallen off the blogger band wagon. Is that even accurate or correct? I guess I have just been very busy and am starting to wonder the point of it all. I'm thinking blogging, other than for personal enjoyment and contact with family, is pointless. For awhile there it was great but as a use for professional advancement... not so great. Maybe it's because in my professional arena people don't take much stock in blogs. I suppose if I were to really get into it it could be helpful down the road, if I wanted to stay in psychology. But I'm not at all certain that's what I want to do. It's a really rough road to be on and I'm getting tired of the crap pay. If I want more pay then I need to go back to school for a helatiously long period of time; like 6 years JUST for school. That is helatiously long, believe it or not. I know, all you 50 and older crowd are thinking it's not a long time, and you may be right, but right now it seems like an unbearably long time. Espcially going it alone with just my income. Full time school for 6 years? And even then you don't just get to jump into work... and it's still in the crap pay area. I just don't know. I'm feeling very lost. So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated right about now.

I've talked to my boss about leaving and she doesn't want me to. And I'm gonna get some more training which will get me more money and make me more desireable down the road. But I am SOOOOOOO busy. I work 6 days a week on a good week. On a bad week I work 7 days. And this is just surviving. It's rediculously expensive out here. It's impossible to live on one income these days. This life is rediculous. That's why people go out and get jobs that they're not passionate about; to survive. Trying to work in something that I enjoy does not pay and it's killing me. I have no time to do things I enjoy. I live in this great city, so close to Washington DC where there are so many things going on, and Baltimore and all these other great cities. I'm a day's visit to New York. But I have no time to partake in any of these wonderful things. I love doing activities but all I do is work and it's driving me mad and depressing me. Sure, I take time off. I do. Some days I'll just call out sick. But this pace is really getting to me. I'm still amazed that I haven't contracted an ulcer or some other kindof strange illness from stress. I guess it's because I do manage stress well. But I am tired.

thank you for your attention and appreciation and letting me have my vent.
In other news... MOUNT ELLIS ACADEMY got the money! So thank you to everyone that voted. They were one of 20 schools I believe to recieve money for the school.

Also, I will be staying in Maryland for awhile longer but am moving to a new apartment. Well, it's a house actually. I am looking forward to getting away from my roommates. Hopefully it works out better than my current arrangement.

I am still really into my audiobooks. I "read" about 1 every week and a half on average. I've devoured some wonderful books. check them out. Some I recently recommend are:

Thunderstruck
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Saturday
The Lord God Made Them All
Too Late to Say Goodbye
The Innocent Man
The Monster of Florence

I would love to do some more book reviews. Maybe that is what I will do to get back into my blogging. Because I really love books and I love to share them and talk about them. So be looking for my reviews on these above books and more!

til then I will leave you with a wonderful quote...

Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all life really means. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

Bribing Kids for School

2010-06-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

Man we get so hyped up over everything don't we!? Education, Religion, Sex... We are so touchy! The most recent freak-out (besides the oil spill) has been paying kids for school.

Education has been such a huge issue for us. We're constantly complaining about it. We get upset because kids are being sent on to the next grade without actually passing, and then we standardized tests and we started complaining that "grades don't measure success!" And then we found out that some teachers were cheating on the SATs and that does not make us happy either.

This is one of our most frustrating issues in the US. We are constantly debating it. One of our biggest frustrations is getting kids more interested in their own education.

So why do our feathers get so flustered when someone comes around to do some experiments with paying kids for performance in school? Because, we cry...

"Children should be intrinsically motivated to do well in school!"

But are they? Should does not equal IS. Let me ask you this... When you were 15 did you go to school everyday because you really wanted to learn about math and grammar? Or did you go to school because that's just what you did? Because Mom and Dad made you? What was your favorite day of the week? Monday or Friday?

Let's be honest. Kids are not intrinsically motivated to learn. Kids, just like the rest of us, are motivated by incentives.

Schools have started experimenting with the idea of paying kids for excellence and it's been in the news. Some people are furious with the notion. the Times recently published an article asking the question DOES IT WORK? Some guy named Roland Fryer Jr. decided to find out, and people were infuriated.

Steven D. Levitt at Freakonomics finds it interesting that people get so upset about bribing kids to do well in school. He points out that we offer all sorts of financial incentives in society all the time. Why do you go to work? For fun? We pay for people to recycle and some parents pay their kids to do chores. Jobs offer 401K matches, banks offer cash incentives as well.

Sure, I agree that kids should do well in school just because they should. I also think that at work we should do our best and not try to cut corners. But often we do not do our best unless there's an... wait for it... incentive.

IF bribing kids with money WORKS then what's the harm in it. If it doesn't work then let's stop. But what's so bad about testing the theory?

Roland Fryer Jr. conducted several experimental studies on this very subject in several cities and in different types of schools. He used different methods to find out what worked best. What he found was that every school was different and not all the methods had equal results. This is what resonated to me...

Times said: "Kids may respond better to rewards for specific actions because there is less risk of failure. They can control their attendance; they cannot necessarily control their test scores."

If children are rewared for things they can control they do better. When they are rewarded for things they cannot neccesarily control they don't do quite as well. I'm sure you can relate. Some people test better than others. Some people have test anxiety, and I think most people would agree that a test score doesn't measure you're inteligence or ability to perform. It's just a number. You may try hard to study but still get a B instead of an A. So if you are paid for something that you do not have direct control over it doesn't effect you the same way as if you were told, if you are on time every day you will get an extra $20 in your paycheck. I'd be on time.

I used to work at Target. If you're ever been to Target you were probably offered the opportunity to sign up for a "Red Card" (ie: a Target credit card). We were told that if we sold a certain number of cards then we would be put into a drawing to get a reward. I tried to convince them that that wouldn't work but they stuck by it. Who wants to put out all that effort to get people to sign up for a credit card for the CHANCE to get a prize? I finally convinced them and they changed their minds; if someone 'sold' a card, they got a candy bar or a soda for free. Period. No CHANCE of getting something. And it worked.

So what are your thoughts on bribing kids for school? Are you for it? Against it? Open to it? We all have reasons for our opinions. What's yours?

June Goals

2010-06-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

Well it's June now. Officially summertime and time to review my goals.

May's Goals

~~Meet with the mover truck people~~ - I didn't talk to them but I did check out the website and now at least I have an idea. They're all about the same and it's not cheap.
Practice my calligraphy - I didn't make the calendar or practive very much. shame on me.
Find a good gym - well I didn't do that. I know I sound like a whiner but I really do not have free time.
~~Recycle!~~ - TOTALLY COMPLETED. I recycled everything!
Gardening - didn't get any gardening done. booooooooooooooo!!!

I am totally wiped out. Today I'm just feeling worn down and bummed about how I don't have any free time. I've been working 7 days per week. I get that overtime which is nice and helps out a lot, but I'm seriously pooped. Therefore I am not doing goals for this month. My goal will be to relax when I can and just get through each day doing what I can.

I feel like I want to post a giant entry about everything that is pissing me off. Maybe that will make me feel better!

You know what I DID do last month though!? I updated my resume and sent out some applications. I'm hoping that I can get a job with a bigger salary. The job market right now is so frustrating! But that's another post :)

I haven't posted a new post in a long time and I need to get back to doing that. I've been listening to a lot of good books on cd from the library and I want to post about them. I just finished the most amazing book The Innocent Man by John Grisham; his first non-fiction book. It deserves a post or two; the men that it's about deserve a post or two. I also "read" Her Last Death by Susanna Sonnenberg, a great memoir. My two most favorite types of books; true murder mystery/justice system and Memoirs.

So here's to June!

This painting is called "Flaming June" & was painted by Lord Leighton in 1895

I thought it was appropriate because it's June :)

That and I love the orange color.

Doesn't she look peaceful?

like what June should be? peaceful and relaxing.

I should go to the beach.

what's a girl to do!?

2010-05-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

" Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes. "
~Clare Boothe Luce

I do not have a sister. I am the oldest of my close cousins and therefor I never really had a close female bond with anyone my age. I was however, close to my mother, my grandmother and my aunt Julie. So in some ways I can very much relate to Dinah's upbringing. Like Dinah I had the influences of older women and I believe that helped shape me into maturity maybe a little faster than I might've otherwise. It also forced me to think for myself and about bigger things.

The one continuous truth throughout the book The Red Tent is the bond of women. In an interview Diamant says "many readers say that they love the book because of the way it affirms the essential DIGNITY, POWER and INTEGRITY of women's lives." I had to quote her on that because I couldn't have said it better.

We, as women, all have the same thing in common no matter what. All women everywhere are connected by this simple fact; that we give life. Throughout Dinah's story what keeps her going are the women and the bonds they form; the unity of their togetherness.

The second truth I notices about her book is the changing times. In the beginning she tells the story of the mothers and how The Red Tent is a place to celebrate being a woman. As the story progresses the tent is lost on other culture. Women are seen as weak for bleeding. Their time is not celebrated, instead it is an inconvenience and young girls coming into adulthood are cast out to deal with this newness on their own.

In the beginning of the story men and women do not eat together. They do not talk to one another casually either. As the family moves from place to place and Dinah ages, they encounter other cultures. Men and women begin eating together and even working near each other in the same fields. This signifies the changing times. Feminists & women's groups discuss this book becaue it illistrates the way the world has changed and how women eventually became involved in the lives of men.

This book is based in a different time, but the changes it went through are changes that we are seeing today. And that makes The Red Tent a timeless book. The world will always be changing.

Diamant states that we have started to notice the silences in the Bible like Dinah's. Even the women whoare prominently featured are not discussed in great detail. This is true for many of the male characters in the Bible as well, but more so for the women. The point is that people are starting to notice the silences.

While the integration of women into the workplace and other such areas of the world is definately a positive thing, I think we as women have lost our connection. Being a women is seen as a weakness to many an organization. And as women trying to fit in with the men we shun our female counterparts and our very natures, in order to be more like the men. We don't need to but we feel that if we put aside our gender that we will be more valued to a company. But then we are expected to come home and be a woman again.

People tell us that forming women's groups is making us into victims. I believe that it depends on what goes on in those groups. If it's a bunch of people getting together and whining then yes, that is being a victim. But getting together to learn from other women is not a bad thing! We know that men and women are wired differently. Why are we trying to force the femininity out of our lives? Why don't we use it? We can learn from other successful women how to use our different thinking and problem solving styles.

Ladies Who Launch claim that women are not linear thinkers. We think in circles. Everything connects. You see a commercial, which reminds you of a friend, which reminds you of a conversation, which reminds you of a business idea... men don't think the same way. Nobody is wrong, we're just different. Why not celebrate it.

It's a complicated world we live in and we women have a lot of shoes to fill. We take these issues and work them every day. We are mighty.

"I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped!"

~Author Unknown

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what is your opinion on women's groups? does it make you uneasy to think of being part of one? If the answer is yes, why is that? Have you had unsavory experiences with women's groups?

The Gargoyle - a book review

2010-05-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

"You'll swoop from incredible highs when you're just glad to be alive, to those lows when you wish you were dead. And just when you start thinking that you've accepted who you are, that changes, too. Because who you are is not permanent"

— Andrew Davidson (The Gargoyle)

The Gargoyle is about redemption. It's about realizing that you are special no matter your past. It's about becoming a better person, taking joy in the people around you and valuing them. And in valuing them, valuing yourself.

Andrew Davidson writes a different story. The New York Times describes it as uncategorizable.

“only after my skin was burned away did I finally become able to feel.”

- Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle

Now as I am writing this review I am trying to remember the main character's name. I cannot. The only name I can remember is Marianne Engle. This is just one of the interesting facets of this book. The narater is looking back on his life, telling you every nasty little detail; including the details of his accident where he was burned in a car fire. It's not pleasant, I'll tell you that much right now.

His story is raw. It is truthful and painful. And yet it is filled with undying love and tenderness.

This is one of those books that you don't forget. It's like 2 books within a book, but Davidson weaves them together expertly and keeps you engaged. Something I especially loved about The Gargoyle are the ministories about lovers in different cultures. I loved Davidson's skill at description. The little things all fit together, like a mystery or a puzzle. It's really a magical story that gets into your soul. It is beautifully molded and weaved by the author.

I feel that I must add that I did not read The Gargoyle from the the pages of a book. I listened to it on cd. It is narrated by Lincoln Hoppe. (He also narrated these books). Lincoln is also an actor and writer. I really enjoyed his narrating of the story. He got all the accents down pat which really made the book come to life. I don't know what the book is like to read from the page so I can't speak for that part, but I did enjoy listening to it on cd. If you find it hard to read I would suggest listening to it. It adds a little extra special touch and makes the book's difficult parts easier to follow. For example, when the author is talking about food, it makes it easier to listen to all the different types of food than to read them, at least I would imagine it so.

I think everyone can take something away from this novel. You will fall in love with Marianne in your own way. There is a spiritual element to the book that is written in such a way that whatever your faith it can fit into the pages of this story.

The Gargoyle is a beautiful love story told from the perspective of a broken person. I think you will enjoy it.

The Red Tent - religion & feelings

2010-05-10T12:35:00.000-07:00

"Looking out of the red tent"

This would not be a good book review whatsoever if I failed to mention the controversies surrounding it. When I read it for the first time in college I recommended it to my aunt, who hated it. We never really discussed it much and what we did discuss I have forgotten. When I realized that there are people who disklike The Red Tent I tried to find articles or entries about why people dislike it so much.

Here is what I did find, as well as my own speculations about why people have unfuzzy feelings towards one of my very favorite books.

Religion!

(please someone correct me if I am incorrect on any of my information regarding Diamant).

I didn't realize until I started researching that Anita Diamant is Jewish. She has been writing for 35 years. her fist book is called "The New Jewish Wedding"
She has written 8 other books dedicated to the Jewish faith and lifestyle. She didn't write The Red Tent until 1997. So she had a large Jewish following when she published this, her first novel.

I am not Jewish and know almost nothing about the religion, so maybe whatever Jewish parts that could have been going on in the novel definately went right over my head. Diamant did not write this book for any specific religion or with any specific agenda in mind, BUT, many Jewish readers are critical of some aspects of the book that they believe have been misrepresented.

Diamant says that several readers refer to her book as "midrash" which she describes as "creative biblical commentary". In other words, it's like an addition to the Bible that tells a story in a creative way or gives you other ideas to ponder. Diamant says her book is not midrash because it can be read with no knowledge of the biblical story. (of course in my opinion it adds to the joy of reading the book). Midrash reflects back on the original text. The Red Tent stands alone. Plus it is written about a character that is not well known. You can't really reflect much on her story.

Clergy , Rabbis, Ministers and Priests have used thos book as a teaching tool and a way to bring people back to the Bible by making it interesting. Showing them that these biblical characters lived like real people and making them come alive.

"The painful things seemed like knots on a beautiful necklace, necessary for keeping the beads in place."

— Anita Diamant (The Red Tent)

Religion is a very touchy subject. It is a personal thing. We hold it very dear to our hearts and no one better dare try to change our minds about anything! Anita Diamant takes liberties with this story. She takes the very limited information there is on this forgotten girl and tells what could have been her story. Some things may be true. Others not. I think what angers people is that when you read a story based on the Bible you expect certain things to be the same. Diamant changes things.

The main example of this is Dinah's rape. I don't want to ruin any of the story but it is written in the Bible that Dinah's brothers avenge her rape. However, Diamant sees this part of the story differently. Think about what is written, according to the Bible; the prince of the city of the city goes to Jacob and asks to marry Dinah. Jacob says no. The prince returns and Jacob (after speaking it over with his sons) tells the prince that in order for him to have his daughter as a wife all the men of the city (or palace) must be circumsized (according to the customs of Jacob's family). The prince is horrified but agrees. The men are circumsized and during the night while they are recovering Jacob's sons murder every man in the city. (or at least in the palace). The details of this story didn't sit right with Diamant and she wrote the story differently. I won't ruin it for you.

I can see why some people would be upset by her changes. In the Bible, Jesus and God are the center of every story. That's what the Bible is about, right? Diamant's book focuses very little on faith. It hardly mentions God at all. This most likely angers a lot of people. But Diamant's intentions where not to focus on religion.

Look at it this way. We are told that Bible times are not different from today in regard to miracles. We read these remarkable stories and the preacher tells us that we can see miracles every day if we look for them. SO, if the Bible times are not so different then a lot of what Diamant writes is probably pretty accurate; at least in regard to daily living. She writes of Jacob's 4 wives. Since when is it okay to have 4 wives? Back then it was. And that doesn't make us mad. But I think seeing it written this way kindof puts in in our faces and makes us acknowledge that everything that happened back then wasn't always so noble and perfect, so maybe some other stuff that happened wasn't so noble and perfect either.

The women of the story did not worship God. I'm just guessing, but maybe the women of that time in that situation may not have been so informed or involved in Jacob's God. Maybe because their lives were so separate ( I mean, they didn't even eat together ). And since the book is written from the women's perspective there wasn't much of a reason to mention God or Jesus.

The biblical characters are not magical. They had real lives. It is shocking to us to read about them as having real emotions, fears, and mistakes and that probably makes us a little bitter because after hearing Bible stories we expect something different. Maybe it's because we think that stories based on biblical characters and in biblical times should talk more about God. The Red Tent does not really talk about God; at least not as a central character.

Does that makes us angry? Why do we get so bent up over religion?

May Maddness GOALS

2010-05-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

Well it's that time again. Time to evaluate my goals and plan for the month. So depressing. I think I'm putting too much on myself. I made all these plans and then stuff comes up and they all go out the window. BUT I did make soooome progress! Let's review...

April's Goals
•~~Call my IRA guy~~ - well I didn't call him but I did send him an email. Also I've been listening to Suze Orman's book, Women & Money. And therefore I have been working on refocusing my investment and money management goals and strategies. I did find out that my investment with Sharebuilder is not what it should be, which is not a fun thing to find out. But now I know what I need to do. Suze explains investment strategies VERY well. Although I agree more with Dave Ramsey's approach to debt management and wealth building, Suze explains investments better than he does. I could go on and one about this topic, but I will save it for another time and an entry of it's own because it deserves it.
I am calling this goal accomplished because I have done a lot of research on the topic even though I didn't actually talk to the guy.

•~~Get those Recycle Bins~~ - I put that one off AGAIN all the way up until May 1st! But I got it!!! I got a giant tub to put all my recyclables in.

•Meet with the mover truck people - I did not do this at all. Ok, I called once but they didn't answer. I shall carry this one forward because I need to know how much money I need!

•Practice 30 minutes of Calligraphy every day - Totally didn't do this one either. SHAME ON ME! I shall refocus my energy.

•~~Go for a walk outside 2 nights a week~~ - I'm not sure that I did it as often as I planned on but I did take several walks in the afternoons. Went on a long one lastnight actually. The weather is getting hotter and the house is stuffy so maybe that will drive us out of the house as well.

•~~Get up early every Sunday morning~~ - Nope. Didn't get that one done, BUT I did have this whole last weekend off, so the boyfriend and I went to the park on Saturday and did some biking, then on Sunday we went to the Shenandoah national park! We did a little hiking and a little biking. But now we know kindof what the area is like and what to expect. I would love to go camping up there or take a day hike sometime. I am calling this goal completed because while I didn't get up early every Sunday we did do a lot of things outdoors together and made good use of the weekend.

•Read for 30 minutes to 1 hour every Saturday - Well now. My schedule got all mixed up the week after I planned this so I didn't have the time to really get this one accomplished. But I have been listening to books on cd in my car so I think that counts to some degree.
Like I said, I would post my thoughts on Freakonomics and I still plan to do so. Here is the link to the blog I previously mentioned if you should be so inclined to checking it out...

MAY'S GOALS

Okay, having reviewed my goals I realize that I didn't do so bad after all!

Meet with the mover truck people - Even just giving them a call and finding out their price will satisfy me. I have a quote from UHaul but I think Budget trucks are cheaper.

Practice my calligraphy - Gonna try to do this at least 4 times per week for half an hour to 45 minutes. And this time I am going to make a callendar to keep track.

Find a good gym - I need to get into the gym. It's too hot to be doing any exercising outside on a regular basis. This goal would also include finding a good place to swim.

Recycle! - I have my box, not I just need to make sure I'm putting all the recyclables in it, and that I'm taking it to the correct place.

Gardening - I would love to do a bit of gardening, even if it's just getting a few tomatoe plants on the patio. But I'm being realistic in realizing that I might not get this one done this month. But I would like to. I hear good things about those topsy turvey tomatoe plant things. They say you can put them outside. Perfect! DONT' BUY FROM THE WEBSITE THOUGH! They sell them in almost every store now. Target, Walmart, even Giant has them. Their website says &19.99 buy one get one free. They are $9.99 in stores. BUT you do have to buy your own dirt and your own plant.

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Wanna be a proactive goal setter? Here's how it works...

Post a list in your own blog of your career/personal goals for the current month, along with your checked off goals from the previous month if you like.

Visit the Monthly Goal Meet-up Post at Brazen Careerist and post the link to your blog in the comments. (if you don't have a blog you can just post a comment).

Then check out other people's posts/blogs and see what they're up to. Read their comments, Leave your own, Check out other people's blogs, you never know what you might find! Support each other and get to know each other. that's what we're here for!
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The Red Tent - the story and writing

2010-04-29T14:06:00.000-07:00

"If you want to understand any woman, you must first ask about her mother and then listen carefully."

- Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

I am revisiting The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. She can be honored by the fact that it is the first book I have ever re-read (as an adult); not counting the countless times I re-read The Chronicles of Narnia as a child.

This time around I am listening to it on cd as I drive from place to place. The narrator, Carol Bilger is excellent and brings a new kind of magic to the story. She has acted in several Adventures in Odyssey stories and has narrated other books. As I sit here, I am thinking about Dinah and wanting desperately to return to her story, but dreading the knowledge that it will be over soon.

The second time is different because I know what is going to happen and because it is on cd. But the magic of the story is not lost in these two fact. I still find my eyes wet and I still find myself wondering what piece of her story will speak to me this time.

My goals in the review of The Red Tent is to...
1. Discuss the writing and author
2. Discuss the religious ascpect and controversies of the novel
3. Tell you why the book is important

"I am so honored to be the vessel into which you pour this story of pain and strength."

-Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

The story is that of Dinah (Deenah), the only surviving daughter of the bliblical characters Leah and Jacob; the story told in Genesis. To refresh your memory, Jacob is the younger twin of Easaw and with his mother's help, cheats his brother out of his birthright by fooling his blind fauther. Jacob is sent away to his uncle Laben's land where he is instructed to mary Rachel (who I guess would be his cousin). He meets Rachel at the well, falls in love, and goes to Laben with his intentions. As a bride price Jacob offers to work for Laben until Rachel is old enough to be wed (aka: has her period). But at the last minute Leah is switched for Rachel and becomes Jacob's first wife.

Jacob agrees to to continue working for Laben and later marries Rachel. Jacob has several sons with Leah and eventually has a son with Rachel (who, if you'll recall, was "too old to have children"). Their son is Joseph who is eventually given "the coat of many colors" and is sold into Egyptian slavery by his jealous brothers, where he goes on to interpret dreams to the king.

This story is well known in the Bible. But not much is known about Dinah. The Bible tells of her rape by a prince and how her rapist then asks Jacob to marry her and agrees to be circumsized, along with all the other men of the city, as a bride price. While the men are recovering and sleeping, Jacob's sons murder all the men of the city, including Dinah's new husband.

That is all that is known about Dinah.

Diamant originally intened to write a novel about the relationship between Leah and Rachel, rival sisters with the same husband. But while reading, she realized that Dinah's silence and decided to write her story instead. In doing so she also tells the story of her mothers.

In writing The Red Tent, Diamand researched the lives of women in the ancient Near East. She wanted the book to come to life and be as accurate as possible in regard to the everyday lives of women in that time period. The information in the Bible does not include the details you would expect to find in a story; what is the weather like? what does it feel like to pack up your house and garden and move accross the land on foot. what do the characters look like, what do they say to each other before going to sleep at night, what do they eat, what games do the children play?

The Red Tent takes place inbetween the lines the Bible. Major landmarks are there and if you remember the story from the Bible you will find yourself exclaiming "oh! I remember that!" It's such a treat to read this book. It makes the biblical characters real and it makes the Bible come alive for many people.

I myself am a sucker for good writing. Not only is Anita Diamant's writing good, it is excellent. I have been devouring books since I could read (thanks to my grandmother and my aunt). Some writing just draws you in. I felt like I was inside the tent with the other women. I felt like I had attended the births and been there when Dinah came of age. I felt the anger she felt and the love of ther mothers. I felt her despair and her courage. When Dinah describes a cucumber as tasting like the moon, I could taste it! The next time you eat a cucumber see if it doesn't taste like the moon; cool and refreshing. She gives you such an appreciation for the littlest details; the taste and smell of water, the color of a woman's hair, the color of dirt.

You know, I also think there is a little something extra in the book especially for women. Diamant describes the red tent (the menstrual tent) and tells you what goes on inside, but not quite. It's as if she's keeping a secret. Even in describing the events of the red tent she keeps certain things private. As women we know these secrets and that makes it more special for us.

I would like to pause here. My following post will discuss the religous aspects of the book and why some people dislike it.

If you have read The Red Tent, what did you find special about her writing and the way she weaves a story?

Book Reviews

2010-04-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

I don't believe that one can really do a proper book review unless one is in the midst of the book itself, which is why I am revisiting my old friends.

I have read several emotionally charged and moving stories and I think they deserve to be shared. I want to tell about what I learned and what I loved about each book; the writing, the characters, the tears, the anger... and I don't feel as if I can do them justice unless they are freshly in my mind.

Some books have a deeper meaning to me and offer a wider range of additional topics of which I can write about. Others are simply captivating stories but are no less deserving of sharing because of the remarkable draw that the story or adventure had on me.

In all books that I wish to share there is substance and growth. They effect me and they stick with me.

You know how when you read a book and the characters are so real that you love them? They stay with you throughout the years of your life and sometimes you think of them as if they were a real person. These books deserve to be talked about. It's one thing for me to read a good book but I would like to do them justice and write about why I loved them.

So that is why I am going to start doing book reviews. Some may bridge off into other topics and some may just be about the book itself.

I am beginning with The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant.

What are some books that you wish to share? What is the most recent book that moved you?

You're Not My Friend!

2010-04-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

I read this entry recently from Generation Meh about cutting your ties with those people who make having them as a friend a difficulty. It's perfect timing actually because I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Actually the topic has been on my mind for about 2 years since I moved from Alabama. The entry I read put my thoughts into beautiful sentences.

In college I had a lot of fair-weather-friends. Not because they weren't good people but because I was in a sorority and we were all forced to be friends. Granted a lot of people really did make life long friendships, and I can't knock it because one of my dearest friends was an Alpha Delta Pi with me. But I'm not a "group" kind of girl. I learned a lot during my time there, including that just because you value someone as a friend doesn't mean that they value you the same way.

You know the ones, the friend you have that no matter how much effort you put into the relationship you still get nothing back. There's another kind too, the friend that is always getting mad at you for the littlest thing. The friend that takes your own life personally and offers you judgements right and left, but then when you really need to talk all they can do is talk about themselves.

I've come to realize that it's okay to let those people go. You don't have to hold onto them. Like Generation Meh says,

"...stop martyring yourself on the altar of someone else’s indifference."

You don't have to run circles for these people. They don't make your life any better. Don't sweat the small stuff! My roommates have really tried to make my life miserable. My roommate has made her boyfriend swear that he will not share the internet they just signed up for. When I take dishes out of the sink to make room to use it I find that they have put the dishes back in, just for kicks. I realize that this is a little off the beaten path of discussion about those friends who don't want to be YOUR friend but you try to be theirs... but, for me it's the same idea. I'm not martyring myself, I'm not going to try to make things better when my attempts in the past have failed.

I'm not gonna sweat it, because it really is small stuff.

I'm taking my ball and going home.

Are there people in your life that you've had to let go? How did you feel about losing that person? Was the friendship lost because you just couldn't do the legwork anymore? Or did they push you away with their actions?

Personal Branding? Sounds Painful

2010-04-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

So I have been reading the posts about personal branding. I think I get it. No really I think I do! But I don't know if it's something that you can go out and "create". Everybody is talking about it like we all need to hurry up and brand ourselves! ouch? But that just seems impossible when you don't have a direction.

I mean, I want to blog. I want to write inteligent entries that make people think or at least respond to. But my life and experiences are all a mish mash, like scrapple. Maybe that's a good thing though because I can appeal to many different types of people... but then how do you get people to follow your blog if everything is different? I guess that's the point of a 'personal brand'.

How do you bring all the mishmash together...
My degree in psychology - I have a fascination with law and psych (forensic psychology).
My work - I currently work in the mental health field and with the foster care system.
My volunteering - I volunteer with CASA, aka: i'm a guardian ad litem. (spelled right?)
I love books
I love to cook
I love to do things outside.

But what I really want to do is build a content website for profit and learn calligraphy.

I have a lot of thoughts on the foster care system and psychology, and I have recipes to share and pictures of my food, I'd love to share the books I'm reading...

But all that probably wouldn't do much for my artistic calligraphy-based website. They are completely unrelated. But I want to write about it all.
So how do I bring it all together in a personal brand?

I don't know. But I am very much an individual, not afraid of being myself and letting my true colors shine through, so to speak. So I have faith that eventually it will all come together and that lightbulb moment will happen. Maybe the brand just comes about on it's own. You know, I've been reading several different people's blogs and what I've found is that the ones I like usually have topics that I enjoy even if the main point of their blog (ie: their career path) is completely uninteresting to me. They blog about other things too.

Until then I just have to keep learning and growing and writing because after all that's the whole point of a blog, right? It's my personal path to self discovery, as Penelope says.

Writing seems to help me sort through my thoughts. Does it work for you as well? Why do you blog? Do you feel like you have created a 'personal brand'?

April Fools & April Goals

2010-04-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

So today is April 1st! I don't even remember when I stopped doing April Fools jokes. I remember one year I replaced the chocolate-ball cereal in the box with dog food that lookes a lot like the cereal. Nobody ate it though, I suppose the smell had something to do with it.

Here's my recap for March:

Send Birthday Cards - I didn't get a card to my mother but I did call her. I think that counts. I also sent about 5 birthday cards to my brother as a birthday joke. I think he enjoyed it.
Get Recycle Bins - I definately did not do this one; thought about it every day for the last week in March but didn't get it done. Will carry this one forward. The beer bottles are longing for a special home.
Call my IRA provider - Nope. Didn't do this one either. Carry forward.
File Taxes - YES! D-O-N-E! Feels hella-good not to worry about it. I ended up paying for it instead of doing it myself, but this being my first time I think it was worth it.

So, thinking about April... It's starting to get warm here in Maryland so I want to do stuff outside. It's too bad that my boyfriend and I work nights so we can't spend the best part of the evenings together. Big bummer cuz I love this time of year, the time when it's not to cold and not too warm but you still have to bring a light jacket just incase.

Call my IRA guy - do I really need to explain that one again?
Get those Recycle Bins - Yep. Nuff said. Also gotta figure out where I can drop them.
Meet with the mover truck people - I'm moving back to Alabama. Yep. I gotta look around and find the right moving truck. Already checked in with UHaul but now I gotta check out the Budget Trucks. I'm a little bit excited about moving back because my mommy lives there. I miss my mommy, and who says you can't go home. Whoever said that must've not had a very good relationship with their family. Gonna have to find a new job when I get there but that's where the following goal comes in...
Practice 30 minutes of Calligraphy every day - I just have to JUST DO IT! My problem is that I keep going from one style to another instead of sticking with just one. I don't know if that's good or bad. Anyways, my long term goal is to create a website and do calligraphy.
Go for a walk outside 2 nights a week - It's so nice outside and I miss going for walks. The only thing missing is that I don't have any dogs to walk. Bummer.
Get up early every Sunday morning - Sunday is the only day that Boyfriend and I have together. We are both working our butts off and Sunday is our day (it's not even every Sunday because every other Sunday I work from 9 to 3) ... but that's just me whining. So every Sunday I want to get up early and spend time together, maybe make breakfast, drink coffee, go for a walk... and then do something afterwards. For Easter Sunday I think we are going to go to the park and rend a boat of some kind, take a picnic (and maybe some beers) and go paddling. I also want to go to one of the Caverns in Virginia. I haven't been to a cave in forever! And then for dinner maybe go out to eat or cook dinner at the house and watch a movie from the Redbox.
Read for 30 minutes to 1 hour every Saturday - I've been listening to books on cd every day on my way to and from work, but I miss actually holding the book in my hand and reading. I started "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" by David Wroblewski and I'm on page 225. It's very very good so far. These past several weeks I've "read", in my car, "The Gargoyle" by Andrew Davidson and "The Strangler" by William Landay. They've all been very good books and I recommend them all. I'm currently listening to "Freakonomics" by Steven B Levitt & Stephen J Dubner. While Googling this book I found this website/blog, from The NewYork Times; it's pretty interesting. When I finishe Freakonomics I shall post my thoughts.

So those are my goals for April. I don't think it's toooooo much, but we'll see. Maybe I'll get those recycle bins first...

----

Wanna be a proactive goal setter? Here's how it works...

Post a list in your own blog of your career/personal goals for the current month, along with your checked off goals from the previous month if you like.

Visit the Monthly Goal Meet-up Post at Brazen Careerist and post the link to your blog in the comments. (if you don't have a blog you can just post a comment).

Then check out other people's posts/blogs and see what they're up to. Read their comments, Leave your own, Check out other people's blogs, you never know what you might find! Support each other and get to know each other. that's what we're here for!

Happiness is a Frame of Mind...?

2010-03-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not really a big fan of Dr. James Dobson, but I like talk radio and as I am driving home from work at night, I listen to the only chanel I can get that has talk; which is the Christian chanel.

[can I say how sad it is that I don't get more chanels in the Baltimore/DC area?]

I would also like to point out that I have nothing against "the Christian Chanel". For the most part I enjoy listening to the discussions. There are a few that rub me the wrong way - like when they talk about how being gay is wrong. I just don't listen to it because I am a big supporter of "the gays"... but that's another post entirely.

So, I was listening one night and Dr. Dobson and 'some other guy' where discussing an interview that had been previously recorded. The interview was with a man who had kept a diary of his journey when his wife became paralyzed through a car accident possibly... and he was left to take care of her for the rest of their lives.

*Kudos* to anyone who has to go through something like that.

He talked about how he chose to remain positive for his wife. This was when Dr. Dobson's friend said that "happiness is a frame of mind"; he said you can have two people in the exact same situation and one is absolutely miserable and grouchy to the world and the other is happy and smiling. ... Not a direct quote but close enough.

The part that got to me was when he said "two people in the exact same situation". I'm not opposed to the idea that you can choose to be happy, but two people's situations are never exactly the same. (I know, never say never)... but it is true that two people's situations will never equal each other. It is also true that no two people are the same. Maybe the other person has a different chemical balance in their brain, maybe they take medication for anxiety or depression. If that person loses a job they will probably react differenty than the person that does not have the same chemical imbalance.

Yes, I do understand the point of why he said what he said. But it got me thinking. People's journey's are different. I do not believe that you can judge another person's happiness. In fact I don't believe we should be judging anybody at all!

All that being said, I do believe that you can choose to be happy. I believe in choices.

Like today, after my taxes pissed me off and I dropped my phone down the rain drain in the parking lot and I got an email from my ex... I am NOT happy right now! BUT, I am choosing not to let my UNhappiness get in the way of my life. I am not going to let my mood affect how I treat other people and how I do my job.

I think that was his point.

My mom has drilled this concept into my since I was 12. She used to tell me (and still does to this day) "you don't have to decide anything right now".

So I take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture. All in all my life does not suck because I lost my phone and my taxes are pissing me off. I have a job and phones can be purchased. I don't know what to tell you about the taxes, but who does, really?

Granted, my problems are not as big as the guy who has to care for his paralyzed wife. But you can be happy if you choose. If I need to, I take a moment to call my mom and whine. And she listens. And I have my little pitty party.

I think that when you start to ACT happy, you realize that you just might BE happy.

TP as an olive branch. or How to Live with Roommates

2010-03-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

What is that saying? Something about an olive branch? Or maybe it's not so much a saying as it is a well known symbolism. The olive branch as a peace offering, or maybe a white flag.

I read somewhere that you can learn something from everyone. I have also heard that moving in with your friends can be a very bad idea. I have been living with my current roommates for about 6 months now. They teach me things all the time. Things like how to change a door lock and how to move your living room into your bedroom. I've also learned how to rewire my tv and how to remove gum from my kitchen table.

Really? Gum on the kitchen table? That one really got me. We ended up having a very polite "conversation" and since then the lessons seem to have ceased. . . for the time being. Keep in mind that I use the term 'polite' very loosley.

About the toilet paper. I had 'learned' that in order to not be the constant supplier of TP for the whole house, I needed to keep my supply in my bedroom, with my new door lock. Well, this resulted in everybody keeping their own individual rolls & only taking them to the bathroom when nature called.

[the silliness of this makes me giggle a little even now]

Well, I found my olive branch the other day. A shiny new roll of TP nicely presented on the roller. It brings a tear to my eye!

Okay but seriously... What do you do when you're in a desperate situation and you are forced to live with people that prove to be the opposite of supportive friends. I'm in a lease for goodness sakes. I joke about my "learning experiences", but really I have learned. I am better at standing up for myself. I am not a confrontational person; I'm pretty much an introvert. I prefer to ignore negative comments, turn the other cheek, kill with kindness... Before moving in with these people I probably would not say anything about the dirty sink and the overwhelming trash...the unvacuumed living room, But I know what I deserve and I have found my voice.

Some people cannot be killed with kindness. Some people just really have to be slapped around a little and shown that you won't roll over. I'm a little sad that it had to get ugly. I think my mother would prefer to hear that I triumphed with my soft voice and that they eventually got bored of giving me hell. But the truth is that sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I feel better about myself knowing that if need be I can get scrappy!

Have you ever been in a situation like that? Did you ever have to get down and fight a little dirty?

March Goal Meet-Up

2010-03-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

So... there's a group at Brazen where you list your goals for the month; to keep you focused and to share with others. This will be my first goal meet-up. I am going to start small for the main purpose that I am so freakishly busy as it is that I couldn't possibly fit in anymore big goals.

March holds my mother and brother's birthdays so I am planning on sending birthday cards/letters. There, goal #1.

I am also big on recycling, but my apartment complex does not recycle. So I want to get some big garbage cans to put my plastics in. There, goal #2.

Fairly simple goals. But I can't start too big because I don't dare overwhelm myself. I work almost every day out of the week. Some weeks I only work 6 days a week. It's too much, but it's only temporary and right now I can't afford to drop a job.

Goal #3 is one that I am thinking about working on but it might be one that flows over into April... I have an IRA account with Sharebuilder and I need to call my local Dave Ramsey endorsed investment provider and ask him some questions about my account. I know it's a him because I talked on the phone with him one time to tell him that I would call him back later. haha. talk about procrastination.

If you have questions about insurance, investment, taxes... check out the providers that Ramsey recommends because I've talked to a few and they are really in it to help you, the normal person, understand these complicated topics... Which brings me to goal #4... I gotta do my taxes. Hooray!

So there you go. My monthly goals:
1. Send birthday cards
2. Get recycle bins
3. Call my IRA provider
4. File taxes!

When April Fools rolls around we will see how I did on my goals and see if I procrastinated so much that April has the same goals :)

Here's to following up!

along came blogging

2010-03-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

Welcome. How do you start a blog? I have this one right here, but it just exists for my own amusement. That and to keep my family up on what's going on in my life. I'm not sure that's such a good idea but oh well.

What exactly do you put in a first post? Does it even matter? Is anyone even gonna read my first post?

I struggled with what to name my blog. For right now I'm sticking with self titled mostly because I can't think of anything else. I also had to figure out the http address. I went for rummaged and ransacked because I like those words and they seem to fit my life right now.

Rummage: a jumble of things to be given away. search haphazardly. a thorough search for something (often causing disorder or confusion).

Ransack: plunder; steal goods, take as spoils. to comb. to make a vigorous and thorough search or examination of a location or thing, usually leaving behind a state of disarray. looted. to rummage and steal.

Ha! You could say that about describes my situation in life. The search for my self identity, so to speak, is definately causing disorder or confusion leaving behind a state of disarray.

I'm a writer. Not in the professional sense, but in the sense that in my life I have always written. I write letters, diaries, blogs, notes... If you asked my family what I like to do they'd probably say reading and writing. As a kid I always had a notebook and a book. I had a great immagination. It's a shame that I can't really do anything with my love of writing. Oh wait! ... along came blogging.

I used to think blogging was stupid. I thought it was just an online diary. I would see blogs here and there and I would think "this is so boring, why would anyone want to read this". But then I realized that people do blog for good reasons and people do read each other's blogs. And then my mom directed me to Brazen Careerist and I realized what blogging is really about, or at least what it can be. A search. Perhaps a thorough search for something?

I don't know where this is going; where this 'blogging for real' will take me. But it can't hurt to build a network, or at least attempt to. It can't hurt to practice my writing skills and try to figure out my life with the whole world watching (I should be so lucky). My goal is to be honest and write with purpose. Penelope says to offer the reader something they are looking for. I don't know that this first post will neccesarily do any of that. I didn't plan this out, I just wrote it because I needed a first post.

So, welcome to my first post. Let's see where I go from here.

Self Titled

Beating the Winterland Blues

out for a stroll

Kale Madness

Welcome 2012

Merry Christmas! thoughts and thanks

NPR's Anatomy of a Tantrum

A Healthy Post

for the love of art

19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult

LAUGH. It's good for you.

Nothing Is Ever Wasted

Reclaiming the Slut?

giant tetris

Water for Elephants

something beautiful

garbledeegoop

checking in

sharing some funnies

Outdoors in Montana

Healthnut - getting there

To Do List + Hodgepodge

sucking out the juice - upper downer

Story of a Child Soldier

I'm trying to speak your language

here i be!

February Goals

Hummingbirds

Making Yourself a Priority

Wildlife Webcams

two music videos I adore

"Music does bring people together.It allows us to experience the same emotions.People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit.No matter what language we speak, what color we are,the form of our politics or the expression of our love and our faith,music proves: We are the same."~ John Denver ~

"Music washes away from the soulthe dust of everyday life."~ Berthold Auerbach (1812-1882) ~

let me hold your crown, babe

Me and My Frenemy Codependence.

Sharing Music

Noodly Soups

Self Titled.

writing about books

my beautiful grandmother

1 Thessalonians 4:14-18 (New International Version, ©2010)

Like Woah!

Bribing Kids for School

June Goals

what's a girl to do!?

The Gargoyle - a book review

The Red Tent - religion & feelings

May Maddness GOALS

The Red Tent - the story and writing

Book Reviews

You're Not My Friend!

Personal Branding? Sounds Painful

April Fools & April Goals

Happiness is a Frame of Mind...?

TP as an olive branch. or How to Live with Roommates

March Goal Meet-Up

along came blogging

"Music washes away from the soul
the dust of everyday life."
~ Berthold Auerbach (1812-1882) ~